


Pale Horse

by SabrinaT



Series: Stallion [2]
Category: Peaky Blinders (TV)
Genre: Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-06
Updated: 2020-08-07
Packaged: 2021-03-05 02:34:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 27
Words: 36,644
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25116991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SabrinaT/pseuds/SabrinaT
Summary: Following the events of a thoroughly fateful night, Finn Shelby takes it upon himself to explain what happened after his sister Ada ran away with Aberama Gold's daughter, taking Polly along. Tommy, left to die in his own office, fought for his life, and no one was brave enough to tell him what had happened, who had tried to end his life. Besides, Finn himself was at a crossroads: did he tell anyone what he had seen, risking being caught... or did he stay silent, and let his brother's secret lay dormant?
Relationships: Ada Shelby/Original Female Character(s), Isaiah Jesus/Original Character(s), Tommy Shelby/Alfie Solomons, Tommy Shelby/Lizzie Stark
Series: Stallion [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1819309
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

The frenzy it had generated surpassed anything I had ever seen in my life: the doctors, my brother Arthur, Linda, Lizzie, everyone running around... the foam coming from his mouth, the convulsions, the... the scent of Polly's perfume still in the air... The scent of a mother, the scent of my own mother, lingering in a room that was no longer an office, or even a library, but rather a crime scene. There were no two ways about it: Tommy had been poisoned, left to die, and hers was the perfume that I could smell. In all honesty, it was everything I could think about, even when Arthur forced me out of the office: that Polly had been there, recently. And it meant two things: that either she had been the last person to see him alive, or that... or that she had done it herself. The mere thought of... the thought of my aunt... of my mother... killing Tommy... 

"How is he?" I asked, trying to think of how it was Jeremiah taught me to pray to God when something horrible happened. "Is he alive, what is going on?" 

"Finn, go to sleep" Arthur turned to me, the bags under his eyes as dark as the corridor I was standing in the middle of. "This is none of your business" 

"The hell it isn't! That's my brother, our brother!" I responded, raising my voice a bit too much for the circumstances. Linda was nearby, but I could see the look of hatred she shot Arthur; it was the same hate my older brother gave her when he thought no one was looking. In all honesty, I couldn't blame either of them, and I couldn't blame Isaiah when he said he would rather be dead than in a marriage like that. It was the kind of hell on earth I was trying to avoid, too. 

"Hey, hey, there's no need for the yelling, is there?" Lizzie whispered, lighting a cigarette and placing it between her lips, inhaling the smoke slowly and with all the patience in the world, like her husband and father of her daughter wasn't about to die in the next room. "Finn has every right to be here. Maybe someone should call Ada, and Polly too" 

Now there was an interesting idea: calling Polly, calling Ada, see what they were doing. Ada was in town, and her son Karl should be sleeping in the children's room, bunking with Charlie, Tommy's son. The two got along well enough, although Karl was a right prick. No, I'm not being too harsh: he called Isaiah a terrible thing, something I refuse to repeat. Needless to say, such a word uttered to my best friend was a criminal offense, regardless of the act the perpetrator was about eleven, and my nephew. 

"I know how to manage a phone, I can go do it" I offered, being careful not to allow Arthur to say anything about my sudden change of mind. To be honest, I wasn't much help, was I? Besides, if I got to Polly, if I got to her and saw her, if I could make sure I was making up things and didn't actually see what I thought I saw...

"Alright, yeah, that sounds like a good plan" Arthur nodded, his whole demeanor changing. Polly always made everything right, she righted the wrongs and rid them of all evil. This time, it wouldn't be any different. I could see the hope I myself felt mirrored by every inch of his face, that faint hope that my eyes had deceived me. 

Without wasting a single minute, I turned my back on them and marched down the hallways, turned the corners, hands deep in my pockets. Surely there were explanations, surely everything would be cleared up, and I would call myself a fool once it was. But it would be very hard to receive an explanation that countered the obvious nature of the secrets I'd been keeping; and I'm not a child anymore, I'm a man, a man who has a pair of working eyes, and a functional brain, capable of putting two and two together. 

There was no answer from Ada's home, nor was there one from Polly's. My last, desperate resource was to simply take Tommy's car keys, and drive his car myself to their homes. On the way, the only thing I deemed unusual was the faint smell of smoke when I passed near the access to the secondary road that led to the woods, the same ones where Gigi Gold and her crew had been staying at. I had no idea where the smell was coming from, but my nose was especially active that night. In fact, all my senses were, heightened by fear, by pure dread really. Smoke wasn't an issue though, especially because it wasn't coming from their homes, and I was on a mission, one that didn't allow one single distraction. 

"Mr. Shelby, your sister left, with master Karl as well. She left this" the girl who looked after Ada's home said, not even letting me turn off the engine or open my door. She too looked vaguely in shock, her eyes wide open, her mouth agape like a fish. In her hands, an envelope, so white it seemed to shine in the dead of night. Of course, Ada would've written a letter, and would have thought someone other than me would show up to collect it. What was more, I was pretty certain she thought it would be Tommy who would come, it would be Tommy to read the words I couldn't hope to understand. 

"Thank you. Did she leave long ago? Was my aunt Polly with her?" I asked, not bothering to get out of the car, already mapping the route to my next destination in my head. "It's really important, be as precise as you can" 

"Yes, your aunt was with her... they took madam's car, and... well, mister Shelby, I don't know how to say this, but they had that girl with them. The blonde one, the traveler your brother Thomas installed in the camp" the maid informed, a notorious tremble going down her spine, almost as if speaking of Gigi Gold would summon the demon herself. 

"They did? I... I'll take care of it. Thank you" I ended up letting out, turning on the engine, and backing up from the driveway, making sure not to hit anything, before making my way to the one person I could trust in the middle of all this: Isaiah. He would be with his dad, at their home, or maybe he'd be there by himself, or with the girl of the month, in case Jeremiah had been called to Tommy's home. Whatever was the case, he could read, and that was the only skill that mattered. 

If I had to time myself, I would say it had been about five minutes from Ada's to Jeremiah's, my heart threatening to beat out of my chest and break through the windshield at any given moment. At least Tommy was in dire straits, meaning he wouldn't berate me for using his car, which was one less worry. Furthermore, there Isaiah was, actually by himself, looking over what seemed to be a stack of handwritten papers, probably sermons his dad wanted him to review. There was no one else in sight when I knocked on the window, and no rushed concealment of any scantly clad young ladies. 

"Ada left this? And her maid said what? Polly was with her, and Gigi too?" Isaiah asked, clearly doubting the whole thing. His brow was furrowed in concentration, and he busied himself fiddling with the paper. "Should we really open it?"

"Yes, we should. We should, and I need you to read it to me, I need you to read it, and I promise to tell you what I know after you've read it, but no one else can know" I stumbled, probably proving Isaiah I was in shock, or drunk, or high. Unfortunately, I hadn't really been drinking or doing snow, which I probably should have been, and would've, if I had known the insanity my day would turn out to be. 

"I uh... are you feeling well? You don't look too..."

"I'm fine, I just need to know where my sister and my aunt are. It's really important, and I wouldn't be asking you if it wasn't" I assured, urging him to just go ahead and put me out of my misery. Little did I know that the letter my best friend held in his hand would be the cause of so much worse than that. 

So, so much worse. 


	2. Chapter 2

_Since I have no idea who's going to be receiving this, I won't address to anyone, in particular. Maisie has instructions to give it to either Finn or Arthur, not Tommy, so hopefully it's one of you reading this, or listening to it anyways. Although it's going to sound outlandish, it is the truth, and it would mean the world to me if this letter was burnt after being read. Don't try to find me, because you won't be able to, and you'll be wasting your time; but I don't want to leave you wondering._ _I took Karl with me, and Polly is with us. We had to leave because I feel in love with Gigi Gold, and she fell in love with me. That might have been the order, it might not have, I don't know. But Tommy intended on killing her, and almost succeeded, to prevent her killing him first. As it turns out, our brother has no intention on finding out who killed Aberama Gold, because whoever did it serves his purpose, and he doesn't want to jeopardize anything. Typical Tommy, isn't it? Anyways, everything is fine, and we'll be fine. I'll try to stay in touch, but I can't make any promises._

_I hope you can some day forgive me and Polly for leaving, but we couldn't let Tommy kill Gigi, and I couldn't stay there, couldn't stay anywhere without her._

_All my love,_

_Ada_

Isaiah's eyes got wider and wider the more he read, and his brows were near his hairline when he read the part about Ada falling in love with Gigi Gold. Nevertheless, he continued to read, never stopping, and I kept on listening, wishing the tears would back off my eyes, wouldn't embarrass me in such a way in front of my best mate. It ended up being a losing battle, but it was a little too much: Ada was gone, Polly too, Tommy had no intention on keeping his promise, and his hubris left me without a sister, and without my mother. Again, I had to be the bearer of bad news, I would have to tell Arthur about Ada leaving us, and I didn't look forward to it. 

And I fucking hate it. I fucking hate knowing the look on Arthur's face when I tell him what happened. I fucking hate that he will be beyond mad, beyond hurt. And I also know that I will hate myself for not telling the full story, for having to leave Gigi out of it, because if I opened that door I would have to open a million more, a million realms of possibility I was trying my hardest to juggle in complete secrecy. 

"I don't really know what to say. I feel like I shouldn't have read this" Isaiah ended up saying, snapping me out of my pensive state. His voice was deep enough to sound like a low rumble, the kind of sound that would be heard for miles in complete silence. What was more, it wasn't the first time he had prevented me from overthinking just by saying something painfully trivial. 

"You probably shouldn't, but I can't read that well, and Ada knew someone would have had to read it to me. She said so, too" I responded, taking as deep a breath as I possibly could. "Tommy isn't going after the people who betrayed him" 

"I guess not. I don't know about you, but I'm not that surprised, to be honest" Isaiah shrugged, fully aware that Tommy Shelby was a great man, but one who'd achieved such greatness by less than scrupulous means. He knew it, I knew it, and we both knew the other knew it. Deep down, I don't think anyone is unaware of my brother's actions, let alone those of us closest to him. And it's not by treating me like a child that I would magically become blind to his ambition, that I would fail to see what kind of life we led, and to what we owed it. 

"I'm not, of course I'm not. I wonder if... I wonder if he really did try and kill Gigi, or if..." 

"He burnt her crew alive" Isaiah informed, and I could feel the contents of my stomach rise to my throat. With difficulty, I kept it down, but the nauseating sensation remained. Of course, of fucking course he did. That action reaked of Tommy, reaked of disloyalty, and I knew at once that it was the whole truth; so much so that I didn't bother asking Isaiah to elaborate. "Now, I didn't peg your sister as a... but if she says she fell in love with Gigi..." 

"I don't even know that to make of that, I had no idea. But hey, since when does anyone in this fucking family tell me anything, eh? I always end up discovering their sordid secrets, I always end up having to keep secrets... Dumb Finn, we can act like he's invisible, he probably doesn't even understand what he saw... I know that's what they say behind my back, or what they think, at least" I exploded, wanting nothing more but to throw it all in their face's: Ada's pregnancy by that intelligence service man, Tommy's affair, Polly's actions that very same night. 

"They want to protect you" my best friend tried to say, but not even he could believe what he was saying. Protection was one thing, dismissal was another. What I lack in education I make up for in observation skills, and there is nothing that I don't see. Maybe Tommy could benefit from it, but he chose to resort to schemes and double-crossing. He made his own bed, and I knew that well enough. The only thing I didn't want was for Polly to force him to sleep, to be guilty of such a thing. 

"If they wanted to protect me, they would do me the favor of at least letting me know what's going on, instead of leaving me to find out, to try and help any way I can,, to try and be useful, to try and make my own brothers notice me, value me, even love me a little tiny bit" I yelled, wanting to sound like a man, but coming off as a baby instead, probably proving my family members right. Whining wasn't my type of thing, not as much as puffing my chest was; but even a grown man is entitled to an outburst of emotion, and I'd be damned if this wasn't my allocated time to have mine. 

"I'm assuming you haven't told anyone what we saw the other day" Isaiah inquired, referring to what was probably the worst of the secrets I was forced to keep. "You know, about the..." 

"No. Of course not. No one would believe me" I whispered back, going back to the chair I'd pushed aside, and sitting down, intertwining my fingers to keep myself from shaking. "And what would we gain by exposing Tommy like that? He would kill us, or make sure we'd be locked up in an institution" 

"No doubt" he sighed, leaning back, and extending his legs. "What are you going to do? About this letter, I mean. Will you show them it?" 

"Should I? I was supposed to be getting Ada and Polly, but I seriously doubt anyone will remember me while Tommy is dying" I tried to laugh, although it was as fair from a laughing matter as I could think of. "I will eventually have to say something, they're basically gone, and our family will want to look for them if I don't explain... shit, they'll probably look for her even with the letter" 

"If Tommy makes it... you best believe he will raise hell on earth to find those two. If anything, he won't want them telling anyone what they know about him, about the business" Isaiah wisely reminded, not looking forward to being put on the road looking for two people who could've gone anywhere on the planet. What was more, he didn't really want to go out looking for them while Gigi Gold was present, and most likely as dangerous as ever. I only knew this because I felt the exact same, and I knew him well enough to see the whole thought process mirrored in his eyes and features. 

"So, what do I do?" 

Sadly, none of us had an answer, and it started raining pretty heavily when I went back to the car. 


	3. Chapter 3

Turning on the car was the hardest part, but as soon as I had gotten that done, driving was smooth sailing. Turning the wheel and pressing the pedals was alright, and I didn't do anything that would embarrass me, or damage the vehicle. Tommy didn't know about it, but still, any scratch would be noticed, and I would suffer the consequences. The way to Tommy's home was easy, I knew it very well, but the drumming of my heart against my rib cage made it hard to focus on the task at hand. All the while, I couldn't stop imagining what everyone would say once I stepped foot into the manor. 

What ended up happening was that Frances opened the door for me, took my coat even, the butler nowhere to be seen. Similarly, no one was there, the house was in complete and total silence. There was nothing, not even the rumor of a sound. As for what that meant, I had no idea. Was Tommy dead? Was the doctor performing surgery, or did the patient just need silence, in order to rest? Admittedly, I was a coward, and hesitated: should I go look for my family, or should I wait for someone to come for me? They probably heard the door, right?

"Did you find your sister and your aunt, mister Shelby?" Frances ended up asking, probably because I had not made a single movement in about a minute. Her voice snapped me out of my contemplation, just like Isaiah's had before. It was starting to be a reoccurring event: me, lost in thought, all the while I was supposed to be handling serious situations. "I know that your brothers would like to see them, and Thomas..." 

"No, I... I didn't find them. But I do have information about them, that I... I need to tell my brothers. But I don't know if I should, and I also don't... I'm sorry, I'm making no sense" I excused myself, knowing very well Frances didn't have to listen to me rambling. She didn't seem bothered, though; she just looked at me and took a very deep breath, her eyes clearly filled with tears. 

"None of us is making a lot of sense, sir. Nothing makes sense, and I can only imagine the kind of pain you are in" Frances responded, reaching for my shoulder. "I'm very sorry, and I hope master Thomas gets well soon" 

"Thank you, really, I hope so too" I tried to smile, ashamed of how comfortable it was to have a friendly hand make contact with me; not to hurt me, not to take advantage of me, but to comfort me. Needless to say, it made me miss Polly a little more. At the time, I was still trying to process so much else, that the loss of the only mother figure I'd ever known was gone, and I didn't know where to find her was just starting to catch up to me. "Should I go up there?" 

"I think so" Frances advised, and I decided that she seemed like the most rational out of the two of us, the one whose mind was in the right place. I nodded, and took the first step forward, toward the stairs. 

The steps seemed endless, but too short at the same time. Now, I could hear Arthur's voice, who was whispering something to Linda, or to Lizzie. When I got to the top of the stairs, I could see that it was actually the doctor, whose sleeves were rolled up to his elbows, and he had a sort of briefcase in his left hand. Overall, both men seemed calm, which was a feat for Arthur, who really struggled with remaining calm under normal circumstances, let alone problematic times like this. 

"He needs rest, plenty of liquids, and silence. No business, no stress, no nothing" the doctor was saying, and Arthur was nodding accordingly. "It really is important that everything is calm around here" 

"Of course, we'll make sure he's not bothered" my oldest brother agreed, and I could see Lizzie standing by his side, looking like she had lived a million years in the last few hours. Linda was nowhere to be seen, probably putting the kids to bed or checking on them. Again, I didn't know where I fit in that particular picture, but I approached them nonetheless, although no one really noticed me. 

"I'll be back tomorrow, after lunch, to see how his doing. Have a good night" the doctor tipped his hat, and passed by me, making his way down the stairs.

"Arthur..." I called out, trying to keep my voice as low as possible. "How is he?" 

"Hanging on, but it's not looking very good. It depends on how the night goes" Arthur actually replied, much to my surprise. Lizzie nodded, rubbed her eyes with her sleeve, the circles under her eyes highlighted by the paleness of her skin. "Whoever did this knew what they were doing" 

That's when my heart dropped. Of course, I knew exactly who'd done it, or at least had a strong suspicion. Was this the part of the story when I told everyone what I had seen? Was this my time to confess, to tell my family that one of us tried to kill Tommy? Would any of them even believe me? Isaiah did, but he'd seen other things that were absolutely bonkers, so his mind was open to this kind of insanity. However, this was not the case for Arthur, or Lizzie. They'd try to tell me I was wrong, or wouldn't believe me, because it was Polly. It was Polly, Polly of all people. She had looked after us in so many ways, she had practically given her life to us, devoted her being to us since our parents vanished. How could this be, how would someone believe it? What was more, how could someone else believe my word, when I was having so much difficulty wrapping my head around it?

"Yeah, I think so" I said, deciding it was better to wait it out, to keep it to myself while Tommy was hanging between life and death. Maybe when he was alright, when he was safely alive, I could say what I needed to say, maybe even show them the letter and let them make the decisions, handle the damn situation. 

"Where's Ada, then?" Lizzie asked, looking around, apparently wondering if I had my sister hidden behind my back. "Weren't you supposed to be getting her? Does she know what happened? What about Polly?" 

"I didn't... they weren't home" I decided to say, trying not to lie, trying not to show too much in my face. Lizzie didn't really know me that well, so i didn't expect her to be able to read me; but Arthur was a completely different case. Even when he was worried and in pain, he found the time to look at me, and I felt like I was under the brightest interrogation light in the world. 

"Not home? Where are they then?" he ended up asking, and I simply shook my head. Now that was the complete truth: I did not know where they were, and hopefully no one would really be asking if I knew who they were with... hopefully. 

"Maybe they've gone to church or something. We'll call them in a bit, or maybe even in the morning. There's no rush" Lizzie reasoned, leaning against the wall, closing her eyes. Under the stark light, she looked older than she was, and nothing like the Lizzie I knew. From where I stood, she and Tommy got married because of Ruby, and that alone. Seeing her now, I understood I was wrong. There was love, whatever type of love it was. As for what Tommy felt for her, I didn't know, but it was obvious that Lizzie was madly in love with my brother, and was having as hard a time as me and Arthur were with accepting that Tommy could be gone by the morning. 

"You're right. The housekeeper says we can all stay here tonight" Arthur ended up informing, looking around, apparently wondering how he'd gotten to where he was, in the middle of a corridor, with his sister in law, and his little brother. In the minute that we were in silence, he didn't seem to arrive to any conclusion, and continued to look as lost as ever. "Are you sure that's alright, Lizzie?" 

"Of course, of course. If you can sleep, go right ahead" Lizzie confirmed, apparently already knowing no one who understood the severity of the situation would be able to even blink, let alone sleep. "I'm going to stay here, in case he needs anything" 

"I'll stay too" I offered, and for once no one told me to do any different. Arthur went as far as seating on the floor, his back against the wall like Lizzie's. I did the same, and soon there were only the three of us, breathing in unison, silent and in waiting. "Is anyone with Tommy?"

"The doctor left his apprentice. He's stable, so it should be fine" Lizzie informed, making herself comfortable next to me on the floor. 

"Ah, alright" I said, a little more at ease. "I can drive, if anyone needs anything, I could go get it" 

"We're fine, Finn" Arthur groaned, going back to his usual tone toward me. It was a breath of fresh air, to be honest, to be treated normally in the midst of so much strangeness. 

"I just want to help" I countered, losing a bit of my temper. We were all tired, all on edge, and what I usually kept to myself was about to come out, including the fact that no one in this family took me seriously, or understood that I could be useful. As per usual, Arthur simply rolled his eyes, and leaned his head against the wallpaper. "I'm just trying to help"

"We know, Finn" Lizzie sighed, looking at me, eyelids heavy but fighting to stay open. "Your brothers just try not to put you in harm's way" 

"I want to be put in harm's way if it means not having to stay outside of my brother's bedroom door, hoping and praying that he doesn't die before sunrise" I replied, not even bothering to keep my voice down. "This is all fucked up, surely you understand that this is insane" 

"Of course it is. But that's the life we lead. Get used to it" Arthur roared, going as far as chuckling. 

All in all, he wasn't wrong. It's just that he doesn't know how right he is. 


	4. Chapter 4

I ended up drifting off to sleep, only to wake up what seemed like ten minutes later, with a very persistent sunbeam hitting me right in the eyes. Despite taking a bit to focus my vision and be able to look around, I ended up focusing on Arthur, who was not only awake, but busy with a discarded piece of paper, and a very small piece of charcoal. He looked very focused on whatever he was doing, but I had an inkling he was drawing something. As for Lizzie, she was nowhere to be seen, but the door to Tommy's master bedroom was open, so I assumed she had gone to see my brother. 

"He survived" Arthur mumbled, probably seeing me look in that general direction. "The doctor already arrived, and says he'll probably be in good health in about a week" 

"So it wasn't as severe as he thought it would be?" I inquired, pretty sure of what I'd seen that night: Tommy grabbing his throat, and then falling over, as if his legs had given up on holding up his weight. From where me and Isaiah stood, we could even see something very similar to sea foam coming from his mouth, which was what made us rush in and call the doctor right away. By then, and miraculously, Polly had already gotten in a car, and it had driven away. If I had known I would never see her again, I might have tried to stop her, might have tried to ask questions, tried to see who was driving, and who were the passengers. Unfortunately, Tommy was a priority, and the only information I possessed was that Polly had been in the room with him when he had collapsed. In all seriousness, I had nothing against her; if anyone asked, I could say she had been there, but that I hadn't seen anything suspicious. 

"The doctor had an antidote, and got to Tom quickly enough to save his life. Doesn't know if he'll recover all of his faculties, but he's alive" Arthur informed, his shoulders slumped and his whole being radiating with tiredness and worry. "Lizzie has gone to see him, and we might be next, with some luck" 

Deep down, I wanted to see Tommy, I really did. Hell, I was aching to see him, to see him breathing with my own eyes. But there was another part of me, a part that was aware of how much talking I would be doing if I laid eyes on him. For starters, he probably remembered Polly trying to murder him, and would want to know if I knew, or whether I had seen her do it. As for me finding him, he was fully unconscious when I did, so he wouldn't remember that, which could mean there was no possibility of him ever wanting to know how come I got to him so quickly. 

"I'd like that" I ended up admitting, hoping and praying that Tommy was too weak to even think straight. I should know better, I know I should, but I can't. In the face of one of my family members being injured, it was like my brain lost all its filters leaving me at the mercy of the danger that were emotions. With someone like Tommy, who never lost his cool, it was terrifying to be vulnerable, horrifying to think I could hide anything from him. "The little ones? Do they know? Charlie and Ruby, I mean" 

Talking about the children was a bit easier. They were sacred, and all of us would lay our lives down for them, without even half of a second thought; and making them the subject of our conversation was the easiest thing for me. Likewise, I could see Arthur relaxing a little, proving he too enjoyed talking about the children in our family, who were a beam of light in the midst of the horror that were our lives, and that was this moment in particular, when we hung between life and death, joy or mourning. As for his own son, Arthur was completely and utterly biased: little Billy was everything to him. 

"They know their dad isn't feeling very well, so Frances is taking care of them" my oldest brother explained, the smallest hint of a smile on his features. Only then did I notice he wasn't wearing his wedding ring, but had it on the floor, right next to his knee. It was as strange as it was symbolic, and I knew enough about human nature not to ask anything about it, especially given that I hadn't seen Linda since last night. 

"Billy too?"

"Yeah, Billy too" he nodded, and I felt something akin to an electric shock going throw me. Arthur was as transparent as a sheet of white paper against the sun, and I was too receptive not to see what was clearly there, waiting to be picked up. In other words: Arthur was, without knowing it, sending distress signals like a ship sinking in the ocean, and there I was, catching it all. Wherever Linda was at that moment in time, one thing was clear: her and Arthur? It was history. I had never seen that man take off his wedding ring, let alone place it on the ground. 

Here's the thing: I'm not married, and I only contemplated that option for a short amount of time, when I was pretty drunk. Looking around, marriage didn't seem to be a great life choice, and with time, I had come to look at the institution with a lot of suspicion. Now, I am of the opinion that once you're married, you ought to be married, and committed, until you are divorced. And I say this because although Tommy says divorce isn't an option for Shelbies, it is something that exists, and that we can resort to. For me, once I'm married, that's it, and only if the other person wants out, will I stop being committed. If this doesn't make sense, let me rephrase it: if I ever get married, it will be to someone I will love for the rest of my life, and every second until I take my last breath. However, if the person I love and made vows to wants out, I will let them go. Loving someone isn't chaining them to you; it's loving them enough to want them to be happy, with or without you. And by the looks of it, it seemed like it was time for Arthur and Linda to let go of each other, as civilly as possible for Billy's sake, but irrevocably. 

"Do you need me to go do something?" I asked, trying to break the uncomfortable silence that was weighing heavy between me and Arthur. "Get medicine, get..." 

"No. The doctor sent his assistant to do that, and besides, it's raining. You aren't that good at driving, and I don't want you in the rain" he countered, lifting his eyes from the carpet under his limbs and focusing on me. "I saw you last night, parking outside. You almost crashed the car into a bush" 

"If I had, you better believe Tommy would be on his feet, marching down the stairs to come kill me with his bare hands, poison or no poison" I laughed, so hard I got light headed. To my absolute surprise, Arthur laughed too, looking way younger than he actually was. At that moment, I could imagine him when he was my age, before the war, before whatever it was he had endured there, with Tommy and John, and Jeremiah, and all the others. At that moment, I could believe the same blood ran through our veins, that we were family, that he was my kin. I felt that I could tell him everything, and that he would listen and help, listen and give me much needed advice, about Polly, about Ada, about Gigi, about everything that had been running through my head, stomping down every other logical thought, making sure I thought about nothing else. 

"Where do you think Pol and Ada were, last night?" Arthur asked out of nowhere, further strengthening my theory that we had achieved some sort of understanding in that strange moment. "If neither one of them were home, I can only assume they were together. And you didn't make a scene, so I am also assuming you know they're safe. What I don't know is how, or why you didn't say anything" 

I had a split second to make that decision, and when it came down to it, I had opted for the path of non resistance: reaching for my coat, I scoured through the pockets, to retrieve the letter Ada had left. Before courage failed me, I handed it over to Arthur, who read it, slowly, steadily, but better than I ever could. His eyes wandered through the page, his brow furrowing more and more each second, the little signs of shock and understanding clearly visible in his eyes.

Come to think of it, I had probably looked the same when Isaiah read the very same words to me. 


	5. Chapter 5

I could see the wheels turning inside Arthur's head. I could see the way his irises flickered when a certain word came up. As for me, I knew exactly what words were triggering that visceral reaction. What was more, what seemed so little became huge, as the tears welled up in his eyes. The realization that Ada was gone, gone somewhere we couldn't possibly imagine, was more than overwhelming: it was brutal. It was fucking brutal, and we had already withstood too much: John, Tommy's poisoning, and now this. We had started as a numerous family; now, we were down to almost nothing, without even taking into account that Tommy could be next. Polly, Ada and Karl were gone, had ran away, leaving only a short note behind to explain everything. 

"Did she say anything to you?" Arthur said, his voice nothing other than a murmur. I felt pretty miserable for myself as it was, but my pain for Arthur was bigger: he looked like he wanted to be dead. "Anything that could tell us where she's gone?" 

"No, nothing. I thought about it, and I can't remember anything" I confessed, shaking my head. "Arthur, there's more I need to tell you. There's a lot more, and if I keep it inside any longer I don't think I'll survive. It's been eating me up inside since last night, I'm sick to my stomach because of it, but I need to tell you" 

"What? What happened? What did you see?" my oldest brother asked, his eyes piercing right through me. I hadn't seen him that focused in years, if ever. Besides that, there was the sheer energy he was emanating, it was something out of a nightmare, as if the very atmosphere around him swayed and moved with the raw power of his pain. I, for one, was terrified, and while I'd been scared of Tommy plenty of times, I had never been scared of Arthur. Truth be told, I hated it, but understood it. I understood it too well for my liking. 

"I saw Polly in the office with Tommy when he... he started foaming at the mouth, fell to the ground... I rushed in, but she must've left while I got in the house" I explained, keeping my eyes on his, so that he could be sure I wasn't telling a lie. "Maybe I'm making stuff up, but it... it looked like she'd been the one to..." 

"To do it" Arthur completed, his Adam's apple moving up and then down. Again, I could monitor each and every thought going through his head, every emotion, which I really did wish I didn't. "Polly did it" 

"Polly did it" I confirmed, finally letting go of his gaze, deciding to look down at my knees instead. It was easier, less taxing, felt better, more comfortable. "And I think... I think she did it because she figured Tommy had no intention of avenging Aberama's death, and tried to get rid of Gigi so that she didn't retaliate" 

"You think?" he asked in return, in a tone that inaugurated a new emotion in him: doubt. He didn't question that Polly did it; he questioned my explanation for her motives. "I think she did it partly because of that, partly so that Tommy could stop. So that he stopped, so that he could rest, so that the ambition he couldn't let go of could be stopped. Sure, Aberama and Gigi were the trigger... but I've an inkling that Polly did it so that Tommy could be at peace, so that we could have peace" 

Let me tell you that the minute I heard those words was the minute my life changed. Better yet, that was the moment I saw my life so clearly it blinded me. I had wanted to be Tommy, I'd wanted to be John, and I'd wanted to be Arthur; I'd wanted it so desperately I used to cry myself to sleep each night after a whole day wasted disappointing them. I wanted to be useful, I wanted to contribute, I wanted to be on the front line. But had I wanted it because it was all I knew? The answer was yes. I didn't have other role models, so everything that shaped me came from my brothers. The simple life I could've aspired to, the one I knew Arthur wanted, was never an option. If Tommy hadn't used my family to do his bidding in a furious hunt for power and recognition, everything would be different. Everything: Arthur would have married a better woman, would've had his garage; John would still be alive, happy with Esme, raising his children in the countryside; Ada would still be with us, and Karl would know us when we passed by each other in the street; Polly wouldn't be a murdered, and would still be my mother. Truly, this was all I saw: Tommy as the root of all the bad, Tommy as the herald of disgrace, Tommy as the epicenter of the tragedies imposed on all of us. Perhaps I'm being cruel, perhaps I'm being blinded by how obvious and easy it is to blame him; but that is all I see. 

"What does that mean, then? That he deserves to die? That she deserves to pay for what she did? Where does that leave us?" I inquired, fully aware that Arthur would have to be God to give me any answers. "Where do we go from here?"

"You know what? I don't know. But it leaves us with one less issue, that's for sure" Arthur chuckled, although there was very little humor in the subject, or even behind his laughter. "I was worried that whoever did it was lurking in the shadows, about to come for all of us. Hell, I thought I could see Gigi's face, staring at me from outside that window. But now I know it wasn't her, and that it wasn't someone who wants us all dead"

"I know how stupid it's going to sound, but I wish it had been Gigi. I hate to think that Polly did this. I saw it with my own eyes, and I still can't believe it" I sighed, wondering what I would say if I hadn't, if someone had told me it. 

"As for Ada falling in love with Gigi... I don't know what to say about that. Thought she... didn't think of her as a... Let alone with Gigi Gold, who's not..." Arthur stuttered, which made me laugh, genuinely laugh. Not only was it funny to see him try and be nice about it, but also because I knew what he was implying: that Gigi Gold isn't the type of woman who's so ravishing even other women fall at her feet. 

"I don't know what to say, either. She's absolutely terrifying, and that was all I could see, really. Clearly, Ada managed to spot something else" I exhaled, conjuring the image of Aberama's daughter in my head: the blonde hair, the piercing eyes, the blood on the hem of her clothes. Nothing like Ada, and somehow kindred enough to form a spark. A spark that had burnt more bridges than the ones I could count with the fingers of both hands. 

"Let me tell you this, Finn: you should marry the girl who scares the shit out of you, the girl who goes past you and it's like a hurricane had taken you for a spin. Marry someone who makes you question the ground under your feet" Arthur said, looking a lot more sane than his words would suggest. "If you marry someone safe, someone who wants to serve you, who wants to make you better, who has morals... it's a shit show. John did it with Martha, Tommy with Lizzie, me with Linda. Don't let the same happen to you. Marry someone who forces you to wake up every day an be thankful you're still alive"

You know what's the worst part? Is that I understood exactly what he meant: Arthur was telling me to put up, or shut up, to go big or go home. In other words, he was telling me to find someone who was anything but ordinary, attainable. 

He was telling me to marry for something that sounded a lot like love. 


	6. Chapter 6

Days after, I found myself at the Garrison. Tommy was stable, his heart was beating, and his lungs were working just fine. The only thing that was wrong with him was the fact that his voice was slightly raspier than usual. I'd been to see him, and I even tried to pour him a glass of water, but hadn't gotten that far before he yelled at me to get out of his room, so he could talk to Arthur. In fact, that was the last thing he said to me, before banning from going back. So, here I am, with Isaiah, with pints of beer in front of us. My best friend was now aware that I'd told Arthur about Polly, but had not said anything about the other thing. 

"Does Tommy remember her there?" Isaiah asked, running his finger over the edge of his glass. 

"I don't know. He told me to get out, and not go back" I shrugged, having deserted Tommy's home when he requested it. If that was the treatment I got after saving his life, it showed my brother's real colors, and if he didn't want me by his side, I wouldn't impose. What was more, I would make it my mission not to go any near his bedroom. 

"Yeah, well... Do you understand he owes you his life?" Isaiah asked, leaving me wondering whether he too, like Arthur, could read my thoughts. "I'm just asking because if you hadn't been there, if you hadn't seen Polly.... he wouldn't be alive, let alone recovering" 

"I know that, unfortunately. Don't think I just took it in stride, like I used to. I can't be his punching bag" I replied, sipping on my lager. "I love my family, but we need to stay together, not act like this toward each other" 

"That's... that's true. After John, and now with Ada, I don't... I don't think you should be apart. You should be a family" Isaiah agreed, nodding his head. "If I had siblings, I wouldn't push them away like Tommy seems to do with you. It could be because he's trying you to keep you out of dangerous business, but..." 

"I'm tired of being protected" I fumed, probably sounding like a child, which was honestly how my brothers made me feel most of the time. "Tired of having decisions made for me. Ever since I was born it seems like. It's pure shit, and I don't want to do this anymore"

"Do you think I do?" my best friend laughed, a laugh filled with bitterness, of resentment. "You know just how frustrating it is to not having a choice; that's how I feel too. Not that I'm not thankful for what the Shelbies did for me... but I don't know what I would be like if I had a choice" 

"Should we do something? Meaning... not having Tommy involved in... but what would we do if he wasn't?" I asked, sincerely thinking about that option for the first time in my life. "Where would we be? What would we do?"

"For starters? You wouldn't be put in situations that could mean having to kill, or be killed" Isaiah admitted, looking at me with a slight smirk on his face. "I'm too far gone for that, but maybe you could still be saved" 

"Saved? That's a good way to put it. I don't even know if I want to be saved" I straight up laughed, despite the stinging sensation in the corner of my eye. "Arthur said something so weird the morning after Polly attacked Tommy"

"What he say?"

"Told me to marry someone who terrifies me" 

Relaying this information seemed like a bit of a relief. Isaiah knew Arthur, and would understand the weirdness of that comment. In the same vein, he would be as shocked and confused as I had been, and still was. On the other hand, it could've been me who hadn't understood the advice; maybe it was common knowledge that marriage should be between a terrified man and a terrifying woman. 

"That's an interesting thought, actually. I don't think he meant someone who terrifies you as in someone abusive; I think he meant someone who isn't safe, who challenges you every day" Isaiah wisely explained, clearing my confusion a little. "See, Arthur doesn't have the most extended vocabulary this side of the Atlantic, so he probably didn't know how to put it" 

"Makes sense. I don't know, though; marriage doesn't seem to work that well in my family. Don't know if it's a risk I want to take. Dragging someone to this big a mess doesn't seem like a very charitable move" I countered, leaning back on my chair and taking a deep breath. "Besides, how do you know you can put up with someone for the rest of your life? How do you know they'll want to put up with you?" 

"You don't. It's a pretty big leap of faith. Dad always talks about the moment he met my mom as if it had been an accident, but that he knew right away he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. And he did, in a way, didn't he? When she died, I think my dad did, too. He would've died with her for real if it wasn't for me" Isaiah smiled, that smile he reserved for his father, Jeremiah. The loss of his wife had ended the reverend, and I couldn't agree more when Isaiah said the only reason his dad was alive was his son. That simple fact made my mind drift to Tommy, still in his bed, still recovering: he too had stayed alive for us, because he truly believes he's doing everything he can to give us a good life. If that's true, it's debatable, but he's trying. 

"Have you... you know. Met someone like that?" 

"Me? No, I haven't. Not sure I want to, either. The mere thought of loving someone as much as dad loved mom, only to then love her... I can't. I can't go through something like that" he confessed, downing his pint all at once. "Whenever someone says it's better to love and lose than not loving at all... I can't help but think that all it would take for them to change their mind was to take one look at my dad" 

"I understand that. And I think I agree, to be completely honest. Don't want to lose anyone else, don't want to bring someone into this, put them in danger. Oh god, and then the children... if I ever had children, I would live consumed by fear of something happening to them" I added, clenching my fists without noticing it, as a reflex. 

"Shit, hadn't thought of that, but that's even worse. No, not for me, thank you very much" Isaiah grimaced, the thought of having a family so displeasing his brow furrowed. "I pride myself in knowing what needs to be done in order to prevent it happening, and I'll be damned if it doesn't work" 

* * *

This is the part of the story when I come clean about some things. The first one you already know: that it was Polly who tried to murder my brother Tommy. But you might also have noticed that there is something else, something me and Isaiah saw, that was even more inflammatory than that, although it also had to do with Tommy. Now, this revelation was harder to confess to someone, because there was literally zero proof, only my word and that of my best friend. Over top of that, it was something so extraordinary I couldn't even say it out loud when I was alone in my home, let alone to another human being. Arthur would never believe me, and I didn't know where Ada or Polly were, I didn't know how to contact them to unload the burden. 

However, the mere thought of not saying anything was absolutely out of the equation. Not because it had relevance for business or safety; but because I wasn't equipped to deal with it, and it was eating at my brain. So there was a simple solution: talk to Tommy himself. He would explain it, he would shed light on it, he would tell me what to do, what to think, like he always did. 

But how did I talk to him if he had expelled me from his room? 

Easy: I barged in. He didn't say anything, simply exhaled, impatience exuding from his every pore. 

"Finn..." 

"No, I'm not leaving. I'm not leaving until I tell you what I need to tell you, and until I get an explanation. And don't try and tell me I'm wrong: Isaiah saw it too, and he will confirm it in front of you, if needs be" 

"And what is it that you and Isaiah saw, eh?" Tommy asked, one eyebrow raised, arms crossed in front of his chest. But something betrayed him: the slightly shaky hands, and the shallow breathing. "Come on, stop wasting my time, out with it"

"You. And Alfie Solomons. We saw you" I pretty much yelled at him, even though I really didn't want to. Shit, I didn't know what I wanted, other than be able to sleep at night. "Kissing, in your office, and then you closing the curtains" 

His reaction wasn't immediate, or very visible, but it was there: the wide pupils, the swallowing, even the twitching of his eye. Tommy was an intensely brave and dignified man, but one thing was for sure: this was a secret he intended on taking to his grave, one he thought he'd kept to himself. Mere seconds later, I saw something far more complex than a split-second reaction: I saw pure hatred in the way he gazed at me. It was the same hatred he harbored toward Michael Gray, and the same I'd seen in his face the same night Gigi Gold stepped foot into his home. 

"Have you, or Isaiah, told anyone?" Tommy finally asked, breaking a silence that seemed to last centuries. 

"No, of course we haven't" 

"Why were you outside my house, looking through my windows?"

"We were trying to find an opening to take the car" I confessed, knowing much better than to lie to a human lie detector such as my brother. "We wanted to go to Birmingham, to the Garrison, and didn't feel like taking the motorbikes" 

"It's none of your business, so you better forget what it is you think you saw" Tommy said, after clearing his voice and reaching for a cigarette. "And stay the fuck away from the car, you hear me?" 

"I will" I promised, nodding so that he understood I meant it. "And what about Ada? And Polly?"

"None of your concern, for now" 

It was though. As was whatever he was doing with Alfie. Because I might be only his kid brother, a piece in the middle of a never-ending game. But for me, my siblings are my whole world, and I had to watch it all crumble, without being able to lift a finger. 


	7. Chapter 7

I would like to know whether there is any rule to the passing of time. I say this because, as I'm writing this, it's been three months since Tommy's poisoning. As of now, we don't have anything in regards to Ada or Polly. Likewise, Tommy has not talked to me, although he's met with Arthur every other day; this left me to handle the betting shop as well as I could, as well as to manage the football matches, trying to get anything that looked like profit from it. This all goes to say that I was no closer to getting answers, but was able to get some sleep at night, which was a big improvement. A really, really big improvement. 

"Excuse me? Hello? Excuse me, is anyone here?" 

The voice was coming from downstairs, only barely making its way through to the second floor. It was a woman, that much I knew, what I didn't know was why she was calling out like that, when someone should've been there to welcome her, whoever she was. Adding to it, I hadn't even called anyone, meaning it wasn't a prostitute for me. I tried to ignore it, tried to listen out for someone who saw to her, not making me get up and deal with it, when I was supposed to be counting money.

"Oh, come on... they said three p.m." the voice sighed, and I could hear the sound of her steps, going back and forth in the downstairs area. Then, the noise of a chair being pulled, and finally, silence. Mind you, I had been waiting for silence, especially since my head had started throbbing; so why was the absence of sound make me even more uneasy? Why was it that only now did I feel the need to go and check, to see who was there, instead of waiting for someone to solve the issue. Was it even an issue?

Very slowly, I decided to get up from my chair, and make my way to the origin of the voice. There, in the middle of the room, was a woman, sitting down, legs crossed at the ankle, dressed very modestly, but with a posture that could belong to a princess. At the sight of me, she jumped up. 

"Thank god, I was starting to think I had come here on the wrong day, or at the wrong time" she smiled, speaking while she searched for something inside her purse. Without really giving it much thought, my hand flew to my pocket, where my pistol was. However, she was only looking for a piece of paper, which she handed over to me, proceeding to stand there, expectant, waiting for me to do something with the letter, or whatever it was. "I'm Maria, I've come for the job opening? I spoke to someone on the phone, a lady called madam Gray, who asked me to come here for an interview"

"That's my aunt, but... when did you speak to her on the phone?" I asked, sounding more than just a little desperate. "You spoke to her when?"

"Last week. She told me to come to Birmingham, and come to this address today, at this time, for an interview" the woman informed, with a less enthusiastic expression. "I was hoping she would be expecting me, but I see now that I've come at a bad time"

"Where are you from?" 

"I'm from Swansea" the girl named Maria replied, taking the letter back from my hands, breathing in deeply, and then out. "I'm assuming you don't really need me, and madam Gray was just..."

Out of nowhere, the door swung open, and Isaiah barged in. Out of surprise, the girl turned to the door, and, in doing so, gave me the single most incredible view I had ever seen in my life: my best friend, stopping in his tracks, his whole demeanor changing, as his jaw dropped and his eyes were lit up by something I didn't remember ever seeing in anyone. He tried to say something, but no sound came from his voice. Surely you remember what he said about his father and mother, and how Jeremiah had known, from the very moment he'd seen his late wife, that he would love her until the very end; indeed, I believed it now, and I think he did too. Me, because I saw it in front of my eyes; him, because he felt the very same thing. It took me everything in me not to laugh at the look of despair on his face. 

"Isaiah, where is everyone?" I asked, wondering just how long it would take for my best friend to recover from whatever had hit him. "Polly talked to... I'm sorry, miss...?" 

"Ah, Santiago, Maria Santiago" the young lady explained, looking at Isaiah, and then at me, obviously desperate for one of us to say something that would put her out of her misery. "I spoke to madam Gray, who was kind enough to tell me to come here and interview for a job"

"Turns out Polly called her last week, and told her to come here. She's from Swansea, so do you think Polly is there?" I inquired, imbued with my own despair. 

"No, I'm sorry but maybe you misheard me. Madam Gray isn't called Polly, her name is Caroline. Her first name, that is" Maria Santiago told us, all the while Isaiah tried very hard to regain his bearings. 

"So how in the hell did she send you here? How did she know where to send you and how to..." I started, but she didn't let me finish: looking through her purse again, she took out a picture, which she gave me. 

"Look, I'm sorry I lied, but truth is that yes, it was your aunt that sent me. She told me speak only to the people in that photograph who weren't crossed out. So it means you, and your friend there" Maria Santiago confessed, out of nowhere, still looking slightly desperate, but more resolute.

The picture she had was a picture from Tommy's wedding to Lizzie. Crossed out, there were only three people: Tommy, Lizzie, and Linda. Likewise, I was there, Isaiah was too, which meant she had done her job well, and had arrived to the people in whom Polly could trust. 

"She sent you here, then" I concluded, aware that this was the best case scenario... or the second best thing, next to Polly herself, and Ada too, coming back. 

"She did. She's in Swansea, with your sister Ada, and her two children. They're safe, well-looked after, and they want for nothing. I've seem it myself, with my own eyes, and you can believe my word" Maria stated, apparently impervious to the effect she'd had on Isaiah, or the happiness she'd given me. 

"Are they with Gigi Gold?" I inquired, only to regret it given the reflex reaction that name caused in the newcomer: she dropped her purse, dry swallowed, and quickly looked down at her feet, refusing to make eye contact. Despite all that, she quickly cleared her voice and nodded. 

"They are with... yes, they are. How do you know that?" Maria asked, her pupils wide with disbelief. "Do you know her, have you seen her? Been with her?" 

"Yes, she came here one night and threatened my family. I saw her with my own two eyes" I responded, not understanding what she even meant. 

"I have never met her, but I do know that madam Gray lives with her, and... and with your sister" 

"Are you scared of her? Has she mistreated you?" Isaiah chimed in, cutting through the tension that had built at the mention of Gigi. 

"No, she would never; she's a saint" Maria protested, looking at Isaiah as if she was about to beat him into a pulp. "She ki... she made sure I could get out of Swansea, made sure I could go back safely after this errand. And I have been to the home she shares with madam Gray and with her honorable wife: it's the happiest home in the world" 

"Her wife? You mean Gigi's wife? My sister?" I asked, receiving a nod in response. "How do you know that? Does everyone?"

"No, only me, madam Gray only told me because she knows I can be trusted with a secret" Maria proudly said, breathing much slower than before. "Besides, that's the message: your sister, your aunt, and your niece and nephew are alright, and in Swansea. Your aunt requires discretion, and I think you love her enough to grant her wishes, and her safety"

"Of course I do. I won't tell a soul" I promised, turning to Isaiah, to urge him to promise the same. Managing to regain his composure, my friend nodded, cleared his voice and stepped forward.

"It won't leave this room"


	8. Interlude

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Any chapter marked as Interlude will be from Ada's perspective.  
> Also, we stan a good useless homey scene

The sun came in through the curtains, which were left open by accident. The day seemed calm, cloudy but warm, with nothing other than a smooth, chill breeze running through the leaves of the trees that lined the street outside. As far as Ada Thorne, née Shelby was concerned, it didn't matter much, as she had no intention of moving from the warmth of her bed anytime soon. Well, if her daughter called, she would have to get up and feed her, but the little one didn't seem to need sustenance at the moment. Ada would admit to being the happiest she had ever been, the calmest, the safest; and it was all thanks to the sleeping figure next to her. Sure, she missed her family, missed Finn, missed Arthur, but if Gigi's plan worked, they could visit, they could even stay for a while, to see just how idyllic her new life was, just how much love there was between these walls. 

"You slept in your outside clothes" Ada smiled, looking at Gigi, whose eyes had opened sometime over the last couple of minutes. By the looks of it, the blonde beauty had collapsed onto the mattress, boots dangling off the end of the bed, her face down on the pillow, wrinkled work trousers and linen shirt. "At what time did you get here?" 

"Don't remember" Gigi groaned, doing her best to lift her head from the cotton pillow, and look Ada in the eyes, despite the clarity making her squint. "There was a... there was a row, at a pub. Some lads wanted to... you know what, I don't know what they wanted. But they weren't from around here, and decided to cause trouble. So I went there, and helped make sure they didn't disturb the peace" 

"How badly are you hurt?" Ada asked, knowing she had to ask the question, no matter how scared she was of the answer. "Is there blood? What hurts?" 

"I would never get in this bed if there was blood" Gigi chuckled, smashing her face against the pillow once more. "I know how much you value this comforter" 

"Georgia..." 

"Don't worry about me, I mean it. I'm perfectly fine, my love. Not hurt, just tired. My back is killing me" 

Ada chose to believe her, after giving her a once over, expecting to assess any damage, and start working on a solution. However, she didn't seem to have any injuries, which was the source of infinite relief. As for the back pain, some warmth would help, as it always did. Apart from knight in shining armor to the people of Swansea, Gigi had a taxing day job as a cattle farmer. 

"Before I start urging you onto the bathtub to put some warmth on there, let me just say I don't think I will ever get tired of hearing you say I'm your love" Ada smiled, turning to her partner and snuggling into her, her face on Gigi's neck. "I just wish you didn't get into so many dangerous situations" 

"Dangerous? Nah, not dangerous at all. Tiring, maybe; but I wouldn't risk my chances of getting back here, to you, to the kids. There's just no way I'd jeopardize waking up next to you" Gigi admitted, inhaling the sweet scent of Ada's locks, the perfection of holding the woman she absolutely adored. "Even if I do sleep in yesterday's clothes, boots included"

"I don't give a toss about that, I give a toss about you coming back, and I absolutely give a toss about that back pain that keeps coming back. Surely someone else could shovel the cow shit? Or mend the fences?" Ada asked, readying herself to a battle she knew she would lose, simply because Gigi didn't like delegating any tasks, let alone when it came to her business. As per usual, Gigi laughed, and shook her head. 

"Why would I have someone else do that, if I know that if I'm persuasive enough, you'll get in that bath with me?" the Romani girl teased, her eyes sparkling with devious intent. "Wouldn't be very smart of me to give that up" 

"I might not do that unless you promise to lighten the workload" Ada threatened, making Gigi sit up suddenly, a look of horror on her face. "I mean it, too!"

"Would you really do that? Would you really do that to me, a poor orphan who loves you more than I love my own life?" 

"A poor orphan, oh my god... I'm an orphan too, and you don't see me going around town beating grown men up, and wrangling cows!" Ada laughed, though she too slept with a knife under her pillow, and a revolver on her bedside table. "Lucky for you, my heart has a soft spot for you... so I'll get in the tub to make sure you stay in the warm water for longer than two minutes, which remains your personal best" 

"I don't beat up grown men, by the way" 

Adaa knew Gigi didn't exactly beat people up, she knew her lover had other methods. Despite the technicalities, and despite the resistance, it was true that Gigi did what she did to keep the city safe for her family, and the details weren't important. Aside from that, the simple thought of Georgia Gold's long blonde hair dangling from the tub was enough for Ada to feel a shiver down her spine. 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, mentions of racism!!!!!!

The universe had come to a standstill: I now knew when my sister and my aunt were, and knew they were safe. The letter Maria had in her hand, the one she was forcing me to take and read, was not a cover letter, or a reference from previous employment, but rather a letter from Ada and Polly themselves, and even Isaiah could identify their handwriting. For what the letter said, I don't think this is the time, or the place for you to know what they wrote, but rest assured that I was convinced of their safety, and their happiness. Along with the letter was a picture of a baby, whose name was Elizabeth, and who was my youngest niece. Even though, logically, Ada and Gigi could not have their own biological children together, Polly took it upon herself and her pen to inform us that Karl and the baby thought of the Romani girl as their mother too, or at least someone they could trust unconditionally, and who loved them more than anything in this world. 

"I don't know how to thank you, really. Coming all this way, to give me the most precious gift, is... means everything, really" I said to Maria, once me and Isaiah managed to get her out of the betting shop (where she would raise suspicion if someone like Linda saw her). The Garrison wasn't safe either, so we decided to use my home, where my brothers never went. Miraculously, there was a box of tea stashed somewhere, and a rusty old kettle, meaning the three of us could sit in the tiny kitchen, around the table, discussing Swansea. 

"Don't mention it. It's the least I could do for madam Gray, and for... well, for ms. Gold" Maria responded, waving her hand in dismissal. "Besides, I'd never been outside of Wales, so I enjoyed the train ride here" 

"Are you planning on going back anytime soon?" Isaiah asked, in what was the bravest of attempts to sound casual, uninterested. "To Swansea, I mean" 

"The way you say Swansea is so funny to me" Maria laughed, eyes sparkling behind her slightly chipped teacup. "Yes, I need to go back. I've parents, and someone needs to make ends meet" 

"And what is it that you do?" I inquired, more for my friend than for myself, although I had some curiosity as to what this girl did with her life, the nature of her connection to my family, and why Gigi Gold trusted her enough to allow her to come to Birmingham carrying very important, secret information, that could jeopardize the life her and Ada had built together. 

"I'm a cleaner. I clean ms. Gold's home, but only because she knew I need work; pretty sure she would be more than willing to clean the whole thing herself" Maria chuckled, in a manner that I would soon find out was very particular: a low, yet high-pitched sound, generally hidden behind her hand. I reckon she was attractive, with her quite long, straight hair, the upturned nose, high cheekbones, and chocolate-brown eyes, which became amber-toned in the light. The most remarkable thing about her was her skin, a tone I could only describe as bronze. "I clean other houses, too, though. Guess that's why my hands are in a perpetual state of scaling"

Unfortunately, it was true: the fingers around the teacup were peeling, and the redness of the skin underneath was quite striking against the light-brown of her skin. I could see some scars, too, and some fresh wounds, more like burns than cuts, although there were some of those too. Of course, the bleach and other chemicals would do that to someone, but, as rational as it was, it was still quite shocking. For one, I had never cleaned anything in my life until I got my own home, and Curly helped me do it too, so I didn't have anything to compare her situation with. Isaiah was responsible for the upkeep of his home, but Jeremiah also pitched in, lightening the load for the both of them. 

"Would you like to do something else?" Isaiah asked, focusing solely on her digits, apparently trying to commit the details of her hands to memory. Adding to that, he didn't seem too happy, seemed almost insulted. "Not that cleaning isn't a good job, all professions are honorable and dignified, but..."

"To tell you the truth, I always wanted to work with horses. Back where I was born, we had horses, and I wasn't too bad with them. But then my father got into some trouble with people he knew, and we couldn't stay there anymore. I don't really remember how we settled in Swansea, but I do remember saying goodbye to the horses" she mused, looking at me, but obviously lost in whatever memories she held of a place she couldn't expect to go back to. "Mexico. I was born in Mexico" Maria added, suddenly remembering she'd missed that information. 

"It's a long way from here" Isaiah stated, making good use of all the books his father had, and also of his ability to read maps. I had neither, so I honestly had no idea where Mexico was located, but the name didn't sound too unfamiliar. All the while I tried to remember where I'd heard about that country before, Isaiah pursed his lips, and I could almost see what he was seeing: his brave sweetheart, stashed away in a boat for months, away from comfort and all she knew, only to end up in Swansea. Equally, he was becoming more and more resolute in finding a way to have Maria Santiago become the kind of woman who didn't have to lift a finger, and who would be served with the finest foods in Birmingham and beyond. And she wanted horses, eh? By God, she would have horses. 

"Aren't there any horses in Swansea?" I asked, biting my tongue to prevent a misplaced laugh at the expression in my best mate's face. He thought he looked completely neutral, but nothing could be further from the truth. In other words, he was transparent, and Maria did not seem to be the kind of person who lacked observation skills, although she didn't let on. 

"Oh, there are. But there's something in bigger quantity: people who hate anyone whose skin isn't white" Maria shrugged, smirking playfully. "Unfortunately, and despite Gigi's efforts, no one would employ me in anything other than cleaning, or... to be honest, it was either scrubbing floors, or allow the people of Swansea to do to me whatever they pleased. Nothing against prostitutes, I know most of them and they're great people, both the women and the men. But I couldn't see myself doing it, and was lucky to go knocking on ms. Gold's door before my family got hungry enough for me to... to have no option" 

Now, I knew all too well that the life of a prostitute wasn't easy, and I had to admit to hating myself the first few times I resorted to their services. That made me a hypocrite, made me a despicable human being. But if it was the price of being taken seriously, it was a price I was willing to pay. Besides, I made sure I didn't hurt them, made sure I paid them well, so that their families didn't starve, so that they were in some way compensated for what they had to do. 

"So, my sister Ada ran away with a good person... a killer for hire, and probably one of the most terrifying human beings to ever walk the earth... but she does have a heart" I joked, before catching myself wanting to take it back, for the simple reason that Maria hadn't really thought it was very funny when I spoke about Gigi previously. However, this time, she laughed with good humor, nodding at my words. 

"She really is a little scary, but she's good. She really is, and I know you probably don't believe it; but she employed me, stood up for me when I needed it, and pays me way more than I am worth. I know what she does, I know what she's done... but maybe some day, when you visit your sister, you'll see what I get to see every day: that look ms. Gold gets in her eyes when she's with the children, and the look she only gives her wife" Maria smiled, her features softening, lost in wistfulness, in admiration. "You know how people say that you know true love when you see it? I didn't believe a word of that gibberish until I saw the two of them" 

"It's good to know. All this time, I've been wondering whether what my sister said in the letter she left was true or not" I admitted. "I don't know, I'd never heard of two women... you know, as a couple" 

"My guess is that it's more common than people think, but it's kept in private. Ms. Gold isn't held to the standards of society, though, so although her relationship isn't public knowledge, nothing would happen if it was. She's powerful enough to do whatever she pleases" Maria beamed, again beaming with admiration. This was cause for a bit of concern, as the way she spoke of her boss could easily be interpreted as a crush, or even unrequited love... and that was bad for Isaiah, who had gone from ladies' man, to a victim of love at first sight. 

"Are you seeing someone?" Isaiah blurted out, convincing me that he could read my mind, such was the synchrony of his question and my internal worry for him. 

"Seeing someone? Like a sweetheart?" Maria asked, furrowing her brow at my friend, scanning his face thoroughly. "No, I'm not" she ended up adding, shrugging carelessly, the question being of very little importance to her, in the grand scheme of things.

Much to my surprise, she put down her empty teacup, and rolled up the sleeve of her simple shirt, folding it carefully until the full span of her forearm was visible. Much to our horror, the skin was completely damaged, wrinkled, scarred almost beyond recognition. In comparison to that, my bullet wound was ridiculous, a child's mark, so to speak. Maria didn't seem too self-conscious though, as she dutifully rolled up her other sleeve, this one revealing pristine skin, untouched and unharmed. I tried not to look, but she caught my gaze anyway, before I could avert it. 

"There was a fire, when I was five, still in Mexico. i can't really use that arm very well, and some of my back is like this, too" she patiently explained, running a light finger over the scars. "See, not only is my skin brown, but I'm damaged, too. Even as a slave, I'd be worth next to nothing, let alone as a paid employee" 

That's when Isaiah had enough. I'd never seen my best friend cry, but this was as good a moment as any, if not better. His fist came down on the table, making both me and Maria jump, his cheeks covered in tears. From where I stood, from the privilege of having a skin as pale as marble, it was shocking, it was horrible, that humans had a price, and that a young woman like Maria Santiago was valueless; for Isaiah, who I knew suffered for the color of his skin (regardless of being a pretty high-ranking Blinder), her little speech was like looking in a mirror... only the reflection was something more precious to him than his own life. 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hi good morning to you and thanks for reading this!   
> ALSO good morning to aromantic Finn Shelby only!!!

This new letter brought me joy beyond all measures, but it also posed a problem: how would I get it to Arthur, if my older brother spent most of his days consumed by either alcohol, or the tasks Tommy had for him? This surge in work was a good sign, as far as business was concerned; but it was also the tell-tale re flexion of how little Arthur wanted to be at home, or alone with his own thoughts. Like I said before, his marriage with Linda was pretty much over, which did not mean she would back off from being on his case seven days a week, twenty four hours a day. Billy, their son, was precious enough for the two of them to try and stay together, for his sake, but that marriage was over, and probable had been for a very long time. 

As for the other problem in front of me, Isaiah had been baffled by luck: the railway workers were on strike, meaning that Maria Santiago had to stay in Birmingham for a couple of days longer than expected. Nevertheless, he was getting blackout drunk instead of asking her out, which... doesn't take a lot of interest in romance to understand how stupid that is. Even worse, he knew exactly where to find her: in the spare bedroom of my house, where she remained hidden until I could get Arthur to meet with her, and hear what she had to say. 

"At this point, you aren't even being ridiculous, you're being downright cruel. You know as well as I do that you can give her a much better life here, you know you can make her happy; and still, you do nothing about it" I almost yelled, trying to get a rise out of him. I wish I could say I was lying but I wasn't, really, I was being as truthful as I could possibly be, as blunt as I could be. 

"She's got a family, she can't just move here and forget all about them, can she?" my best friend moaned, wallowing in self-pity. "It's not that I don't think I can make her happy, I know I can, I think so at least... It's that I don't think I can stand hearing her turn me down" 

"And how do you know she'll turn you down? Have you asked?" I countered, trying to be as sensible as I probably could be. "You know what, it's actually insanity to think that you prefer to pick up random girls in pubs, instead of settling down with the girl you clearly want" 

Understood, I truly have no interest in doing what I just described. For me, the matter was pretty simple: although I could have sex with someone, although it felt the way everyone says it should feel, the emotion connection part had passed me by. Whether it was subject to change or not, I've no idea, but I did know one thing: the thought of falling in love was pretty fucking terrifying, and seeing Isaiah in this state of defeat did nothing to help the situation. Before you tell me I just haven't found the right person, consider that I know myself better than you do. 

Out of nowhere, and right on time to save Isaiah from having to respond, there was a knock on the door, and my older brother Arthur walked in, carrying a bottle of something, and his Peaky cap on the other hand. As per usual, he looked miserable, matching the mood of the dinner table. Maria had gone out, and since it was still not the time we told her Arthur would be here to listen to her, we decided to wait, the three of us, like a secret society or something. A mere minute later, another knock on the door, and the appearance of Maria Santiago, prompting all of us to stand up. 

"Arthur, this is Maria... And Maria, this is my older brother, Arthur" I introduced, grabbing a glass for her, and pouring some of the whisky Arthur had brought into it, although I did not know whether she drank or not. Apparently, she did, taking a little sip when she sat down, right next to her not-so-secret admirer. 

"It's nice to meet you" she smiled, scanning my brother's face carefully. "I'd seen your picture, your sister showed me it to know you were safe to talk to" 

"Yeah, that's our Ada, she's smart like that" Arthur laughed, a hint of nostalgia tainting his voice. Like me, he missed Ada more than he could put into words, but the feeling still permeated through the tone of our voices, through the look in our eyes. "And are the children, alright?" 

"Yes, they're doing good. Karl was a bit... well, he had very strong opinions on some things... but I think having a new school, and new classmates helped" Maria informed. "Your sister sent you a picture of the baby, too, did you see it?"

"Here it is" I offered, passing Arthur the small portrait. Again, his pupils were the size of planets, as he surveyed the newborn baby with so much love it brought a reluctant tear to my eye. "I didn't want to show you any of this when you were at work" 

"She's so precious, she really is" Arthur emoted, voice cracking the tiniest bit. "Reminds me of my Billy, when he was born. They look a bit alike, actually"

"There's this letter, too" I added, handing him the letter both Ada and Polly had written. He took his time, as he always did, but he managed to get through it, slow and steady. I could see his fingertip brushing over the signatures, and his chest moving with the strength with his breathing. "You'll agree it's their handwriting"

"Yeah, I don't think there's any arguing in that" Arthur confirmed, looking at my guest again, with a less suspicious expression. "You came from Swansea, then? All the way here, to give us this"

"I did, ms. Gold requested it" Maria nodded, as if it was nothing. "I'd be back there by now, but there was a strike"

"Yeah, I know" my brother replied, lost in thought for a moment. "My brother Tommy has gotten people searching all over the country, even overseas. I think he'll eventually think of Swansea" 

"Not if he thinks he managed to kill Gigi" I reminded, thinking back on the first letter from Ada I'd found, when she first disappeared. 

"He's still under that impression, I know that much" Isaiah informed, doing his best not to look at Maria, but unconsciously leaning toward her, drinking her every word, breathing in the scent she emanated. "He's told us we no longer need to worry about the Golds, that the problem was taken care of" 

"What would Tommy do if he found out?" Maria asked, picking at an old scab on her hand. "Because if he tries to threaten ms. Gold in her hometown, he's not going to win that battle" 

"I don't know if he would win the battle, but I'm sure he could make some damage trying. And, if we're honest, anyone who knows him knows that he would do anything to get Ada and Polly back" Arthur stated, and I had no reason not to agree. 

"Hell hath no fury, so on, so forth" Isaiah muttered under his breath. "He would march all the Blinders to Swansea, hire more men, make alliances with whoever, just to recover Ada and Polly" 

"There's also the matter of neither one of them wanting to be found" I remembered, before I let the fear of all out war consume me. "There's absolutely no reason why Tommy would ever find this out... and if he does, I have something that might convince him to leave them alone" 

"You mean blackmail? You've blackmail on Tom? Finn, you're lying" Arthur accused, putting down his glass with full force. 

"He's not" Isaiah backed me up immediately, providing me with a second witness, one less likely to lie, or see things (I knew very well Arthur thought of me as if I was ten, and incapable of being of any use). "I saw it too. It's good enough to make Tommy back off" 

"That's... good to know" Maria sighed in relief, making use of the space in the conversation left by a now speechless Arthur. 

"Do I want to know what it is?" he ended up asking, regaining his abilities of speech.

"Best kept between those who had no choice but to become privy to it" I decided, receiving a nod of approval from my best mate. "If push comes to shove, I'll make sure I let Tommy know that if he so much as thinks to ruin things for Ada and Polly, everyone in this nation will receive word of what we know" 

"It might work" Arthur ended up saying, lowering his eyes to the glass. "You know, I know Tommy misses them... but I am smart enough to know that they're better off where they are, that they're happy where they are... and Tommy's track record with those two isn't exactly stellar" 


	11. Chapter 11

All through the town, there were signs of the Shelbies: the betting shop in Small Heath, the factories... Or, better yet, it was my condition as a Shelby that made me see all the marks of our existence, and of our rise to some sort of twisted power over Birmingham. The caps, a telltale piece of clothing, were also everywhere my eyes could reach, displaying our strength, based purely on numbers. 

Sadly, there was now a single Peaky cap on the ground, being trampled by cars, carriages, horses, and even people. It didn't belong to me, it didn't belong to any of my brothers; it belonged to my best friend, who was now in a state of such pure rage that God himself wouldn't be able to match. Hell, not even Satan could. Isaiah was so distraught he didn't even look like himself, his eyes glowing with the worst kind of pain, his once handsome features distorted by horror. 

"I'm so sorry, I am so sorry, but we need to go" I coaxed him, taking his arm and trying to drag him away from the train platform. Like a statue, he did not move one inch, no matter how hard I tried. 

"He did it on purpose, he did it on purpose..." Isaiah kept repeating, like a madman, crying hard enough to rock the soil itself. "He did it on purpose, I'm going to kill him..." 

"He didn't, how could he know?" I reasoned, remaining as calm as I possibly could, given the dire circumstance. "He really didn't know, we kept Maria a secret" 

"I don't know how, I don't know how he knew, but he knew. It was the dumbest task that I have ever..." Isaiah stuttered, finally rising to his feet, and allowing me to guide him away from the station. 

For due context, I should explain what happened, what had happened for Isaiah to completely lose his cool. Surprising absolutely no one, it had been Tommy, who called my best friend into his office to talk about something relating to the horse races. Now, this was the kind of talk that should've been had with me, but it hadn't been: Tommy wanted Isaiah, insisting until the men himself was before him. As for whatever had transpired inside that office, it had one consequence: Isaiah had been occupied every second of an hour, the very last hour before Maria Santiago got a train back to Swansea.

From the outside, you might agree that maybe Isaiah should have done something about his feelings for the girl way before the day she left. But in his head, it'd been Tommy to keep him from going to her, maybe even preventing her from leaving Birmingham. Now, we would never know, because it was over and done with... for the time being, if I had anything to do with it, at least. As for what I was going to do... that really would take a bit more time. 

"You surely understand you haven't missed your shot, right? You know she's in Swansea, you can go there and see her, I'm sure she isn't hard to find" I encouraged, sitting the poor lad on his own sofa, after managing to get him home. 

Out of the fog, he seemed to regain some type of consciousness: his eyes went from gloomy, to shiny, and his face gained a new color, way less pale than before. He even stopped crying, which was a big victory, given how hard the tears were falling before. Apparently, I'd managed to get through to my best friend, and I had to admit I was feeling pretty great about it, since de-escalation had never been my strong suit. 

"I hadn't thought of it like that" Isaiah responded, wiping his face. Determined, he stood up, reached for his suit jacket, and put it on, all in the matter of seconds. With a couple steps, he went to the door, and opened it, bumping full-on into his dad, who didn't know what hit him at first. 

"Isaiah, what is this?" Jeremiah asked, upon seeing the distress and rush his son conducted himself with. "Finn?" 

"He's uh... under certain circumstances" I vaguely uttered, following my best friend, who wasn't in his right mind. 

"I'm sorry, what?" Jeremiah inquired, furrowing his brow and hesitating for a single second before following us. "You mean the girl?"

"The girl? How do you know about her?" I asked, as we both ran after Isaiah. 

"I know my own son, and I know that there is something going on. The fact that I have never seen him like this only leads me to believe that it's something that's never happened before... hence the conclusion that it was a girl" 

In no world did I ever imagine that sort of logic being thrown at me while I was running, but there was something obvious: that Jeremiah was a spectacular father, and a whole lot more observant than he let on. The whole thing was simply made more bearable by the certainty of our destination. 


	12. Chapter 12

Looking up at the ceiling made the headache slightly better. My head had been pounding for hours, but only now, way past two a.m., was I able to go to bed, in complete and utter silence. Despite nothing happening around me, the sound of my blood rushing to my head didn't let me sleep. When the next day rolled around, I would have to go ahead and function. I 'd have to get up, have a shower, get dressed, and face the day; I 'd have to put on my Peaky cap, would go meet Isaiah, and he would still be devastated. Whatever shape or form my day took, I already know, already resigned to the fact that it would be miserable. 

Lo and behold, I was right. I must've gotten some sleep, but I did exactly what I assumed I would do: the shower, the clothes, the cap. Even Isaiah was how I'd left him the evening before: sunken eyes, bags under his eyes. My god, he still wasn't over her, like I wished he was. Now that it had dawned on him that it was his fault Maria had left without being none the wiser about his intentions. Before you ask, no; it didn't make him any less angry. He now felt like scum, and like a coward. In fairness, I shared the opinion that he was a coward, especially knowing what it was that Maria would be enduring in Swansea. 

"Do you think we could do anything about it?" I asked my bother Arthur, who was with us at the betting shop, looking over the earnings from the last few football matches. Isaiah was downstairs, supposedly grabbing some coffee. 

"About Isaiah? I don't know, what do you think we should do?" Arthur asked, shrugging. "When did you say was the next train to Swansea?" 

"Next week, and it goes to Cardiff first" I informed, remembering very well the whole array of train schedules Isaiah forced me to check. "How will we explain to Tommy that he simply got up and vanished?" 

"Why not say he has to go there, because you heard a rumor that some of Gigi's people are still over there?" Arthur suggested, providing me with some much needed solace in the middle of my best friend's dramatic antics. "What's more, I don't think Tommy would even have to know. We can just say Isaiah's ill" 

"I could see that working" I agreed, biting my bottom lip. As happy as I was with that way of solving the problem, I'd been hoping the two of us could find some way for me to also go, so that I could see Ada, could see Polly, and meet the new baby. But of course, whereas Isaiah could be sick and not warrant any action from Tommy, it was a different case with me. So a small visit to Wales was out of the question. "I was thinking... maybe I could go too. But yeah, I don't think..."

"Tommy would ask why, and I don't want Swansea on his radar" Arthur admitted, letting out a breath. He looked older whenever Tommy came up, and I didn't... I didn't like it. If it wasn't enough to lose Linda, he was now being forced to lie to Tommy, with whom he was close, and who could usually read his mind. My older brother was a veteran too, like Tommy (like John), and war had changed them in equal measures, even if in different ways. What Tommy went through, Arthur did too. The amount of suffering going on in those heads would be enough to knock anyone out... but only Tommy did stupid shit, and got forgiven because of France. Arthur was made fun of for not being very bright, and for being aggressive on top of it. Not really fair, was it? Especially given that I was viewed as the weak one in the family, the stupid dumb baby who needed to be protected. Come to think of it, it might've been Tommy who started to... you know what, we'll leave that for another time. 

"Me either" I ended up saying. "We could still tell Isaiah to take some letters for us. Maria left us her own address, so he knows where to go, and Maria can then get him to... well, to where the letters should go" I added, remembering the bit of paper my best mate now carried with him everywhere he went. Maybe it still had her perfume (did she even wear any?), or maybe it was the fact that her skin had touched it; whatever it was, the chances of us losing it was next to zero.

Just like that, we decided, and that was that on that. Truly, we knew Isaiah would be going to see Maria whether we liked it or not, so we might as well go ahead and get some messages to our family. Equally, it was good that we'd come to a conclusion on a plan to cover for the lovesick kid. Jeremiah wouldn't be an issue, he would cover for his son too. I even had the letter I wanted to write Ada and Polly already planned out in my head, and just needed some helped writing it. 

The following days brought nothing of relevant. Tommy still didn't want to see me, I still wasn't too keen on seeing him, and there was no forecast of my mind changing. Of course, I could imagine my brother didn't really want to see me, and risk me bringing up Alfie Solomons again. I'd seen how uncomfortable and mortified he'd been when I brought it up, although he did a very good job at controlling it and keeping it in check. For me, I didn't want to see him again because the simple thought of it made my stomach turn: yes, he is my brother... but he's also the person who drove my sister, my mother, and my young nephew and niece to flee Birmingham, meaning I couldn't see them, couldn't be there for them. Perhaps one day I would get over it, perhaps one day it would change, but not right now. And not while I had better things to think about, like the impending loss of my best friend to the claws of love. 

Fine, that was slightly over the top. 

But you get the gist of it, hopefully. 


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hellooooooo this chapter is going to be from Isaiah's pespective, since Finn didn't go with him to Swansea.

The road was full of puddles, muddy as hell, and completely deserted. Isaiah had never been to Swansea, or Wales for that matter, but it seemed as rainy and as gloomy as people said it was. Even if the surroundings had caught his attention, Isaiah Jesus would only have seen the golden sheen of the sunset, breaking peculiarly through the clouds, and only barely reaching the earth. He couldn't say whether he liked that place or not, and that didn't really matter, either. A man on a mission cared for absolutely nothing, nothing other than accomplishing what he had set his mind to. That being said, the numbers seemed to go on forever, his determination doing absolutely no good in shortening the path to his destination. 

_78, 76, 74..._

Finally, number 70. A house like the others, seemingly with only one floor, and two small windows. From inside, the tangy scent of lemon and some unknown spices permeated through the fog, making Isaiah realize he was hungry... starving, really. Despite that humbling feeling, the preacher's son knew that he would be hard-pressed to knock on the door, to do something that would bring her to his presence. God, he'd wanted this more than he wanted to breathe, and now he was hesitating, hesitating when he was almost there, fingertips touching the finish line...

"What you want?" a short, seemingly very angry woman asked, opening the door suddenly and scaring him half to death. "What you want?" 

"I uh... I came to see Maria" he managed to stutter, grabbing the note with that very same address, and handing it to his accuser. Although he was so nervous his whole body shook, he was able to see that the woman resembled his beloved Maria a little, with the golden skin and chocolate-brown eyes. Other than that, Maria was a little taller, and thinner too, on account of the heavy physical labor that came with cleaning people's homes. Isaiah could even remember the way her biceps protruded under the sleeves of her simple dress, a testament to the strength she had to muster every day of her life. His objective was one, and one alone: give her a life so comfortable it meant she never had to pick up a broom ever again. 

"Maria! MARIA DEL CAMINO!" the lady shouted, once again startling Isaiah, who had to keep it together and not praise her lung capacity. From inside the home, some kind of wooden object fell to the floor, and the sound of many little steps was heard, getting louder by the second. With it, the door opened, and at least five small children fought to gain access to the outside, tripping over each other. "No, NO! Back inside, back inside!" the woman berated, pushing as many kids as she could to the inside. 

That small scene was as anti-climatic as it could be for a man who saw himself playing the part of the romantic hero, rescuing his love from the claws of a life of servitude: a yelling woman, a handful of erratic children, and no Maria. Despite the calling, no one who even resembled Maria Santiago came to the door, and Isaiah could feel the ever-present stinging of stubborn tears starting to form. 

"She's probably not here, I'm sorry to bother you..." he started, cap in hand, ready to turn around, when a strong hand grabbed his arm, yanking him back to his place. Seemingly, the short lady did not want him to go anywhere, and insisted on him staying exactly where he was. 

"She here. Maria del Camino! MARIA DEL CAMINO!" she called out again, this time poking her head through the door. This time around, no children came running, but the prolonged silence was somehow worse. "You come see Maria, you see Maria" she added, nodding her head, the long braid that ran down her back bobbing up and down. 

Out of nowhere, the skies parted, and the door opened again. The lady, who had been very helpful, looked at the home, and gave Isaiah a small smile, before walking inside, leaving a man lost in love with the object of his affection, who looked ever so radiant in a simple red cotton dress, and her hair down, flowing toward her elbows, framing the glorious face Isaiah saw every time he closed his eyes. 

"I didn't expect to see you here" Maria started, giving Isaiah no time to recover from seeing her again, to get used to being in her presence. Truthfully, even if she had given him years, it wouldn't be any easier, wouldn't take away the sheer strength of the feelings she arose in him... because there was lust, then there was love, and then there was this: the acknowledgment of an undeniable higher power, living in clever disguise behind the eyes of a soulmate. 

"No, I guess you didn't. But Finn couldn't risk his brother knowing where he went, so he couldn't come visit Ada and Polly" Isaiah informed, saying a whole lot more than he initially thought himself capable of. "I brought some letters for them, if you could tell them where to deliver them... or if you could deliver them for me" 

"I could take them, no problem. I do have instructions not to tell anyone where their home is, so I'm sorry for not taking you there right away" Maria responded, holding her hand out to receive the envelopes. "You know you could have mailed them to me, even without a return address on them... would be easier than coming all the way here" 

"Can't argue with that. But I had to come here" he stated, having all the trouble in the world looking at her in the eyes, and having to try with all the might of his willpower, had to try and not look down. "Had to come here, to give you these, and to see you" 

"I uh... I figured" she responded, much to his surprise. "Please don't take this the wrong way, but I sorta noticed you and your friend Finn exchanging looks" 

"I am honestly so sorry about that, I shouldn't have stared at you the way I did, it's just that I had never seen a woman like you, someone like you. Please, forgive me, I'll be on my way if you want me to be" Isaiah nearly begged, adding mortification to the cocktail of emotions he was already being made to go through. 

"No, it's fine! It is, I'm flattered. It's just that I don't need to be saved, you know? Despite everything I said, about the racism and the fire and all that, I mean. I don't need to be saved, and I don't really want to be saved, either. That's not what I want as my love story" she admitted, tapping her foot on the ground, blushing violently, visibly embarrassed by what she had just said. 

Isaiah remembered clearly that he inhaled a significant amount of oxygen, feeling each and every particle run down his throat, rushing to his lungs. With it, his heart picked up pace, beating so hard and fast he couldn't tell where one heartbeat started, and where it finished. It was a sensation like no other, unlike anything he had ever gone through in his life: that sense of levitating, of his feet ceasing to touch the ground, as he felt the vicious power of the words he needed to say. 

"I knew nothing about you, I didn't even know your name. The second I saw you I knew you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Didn't know who you were, didn't know what you did, didn't even care. If I want to save you, if I want you by my side, it's not because of pity, it's because I cried every single day ever since you left" Isaiah declared, his knees trembling, but the lump in his throat subsiding a little, now that he had gotten those larger than life words out. "You're free to tell me to go back to Birmingham, to tell me you want none of it. But I had to come here, because I would have choked if I didn't say this to you in person" 

Maria didn't look like she was crying, she simply looked stunned, as she nibbled on the inside of her cheek, pulling at the skin violently, not knowing what to say. She'd been targeted and wooed by some young men who sought to make her a proper lady, who had people clean for her, instead of doing the cleaning herself. On the other hand, she'd been offered the world in exchange for a night with the sons of her clients, so not even that was a surprise anymore. What she didn't know was that someone could want her for herself, not because of charity, and not for how easy it would be to seduce her. 

"That is... by far, the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me. I'm speechless, I'm so sorry, I don't know what to say" Maria ended up confessing, her smile big enough to coax the tears out of her kind eyes. "I'm sorry for just assuming your intentions, I didn't know I could mean all that to someone" 

"Well, you do. But like I said, I won't force you into anything, you're absolutely free to say no; I won't hurt you, I promise" he assured, wiping the corners of his eyes, before the water fell onto his cheeks. "As for anyone who's made you feel as a charity case... I can't say the same" 

"No, no, it's fine, it's alright. I know the difference, no need to do anything" Maria guaranteed, laughing heartily. "There's a park near here; it gets kinda busy, but I don't think school is out yet". You wanna take a walk with me?"


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Still with Isaiah, we'll be back to Finn next chapter

The promised park was as beautiful as the rain falling down from the sky and making its home in Maria's raven hair. The trees, the muddy path, the grass... even the pebbles under the soles of his shoes were enchanting. Her company illuminated his every step, and Isaiah had never been happier, or more at peace. If he hadn't liked Swansea before, he did now, and he did wish the park went on forever, or that time stopped, allowing him to live in this moment for the rest of eternity. From time to time, her hand brushed against the back of his hand, and whether they were sparks, or something else, Isaiah loved it. 

"We do own the house now, and my mom looks after some children during the day, to help working families" Maria was explaining, using her hands to emphasize her points. "That's why there was a small battalion of them there" 

"That makes a lot of sense actually. I thought you just had a lot of siblings" Isaiah laughed, remembering the onslaught of small humans as soon as the door opened. "Do you have any?" 

"I do. I mean, I did, rather. I had a brother, but he was way older than me. He died" she sighed, a sound that pulled at his heartstrings. "He got mixed up with some people, you know? That's why we had to leave" 

"I am so sorry" he quickly said, turning to Maria and hoping he could take back what he'd asked. "I'm sorry for asking" 

"No, it's alright! I like talking about him. Don't want to forget about him, or stop talking about him. He was my hero, and still is. We used to go horse-riding every morning, and he taught me how to care for animals, and identify plants" Maria remembered, the sweetest of smiles on her face, illuminating everything around her. "His name was Javier, and he would be... almost thirty-five now" 

"He sounds like a really good brother. Was he close to your parents?" Isaiah asked in return, wishing he could meet his beloved's hero, wishing he'd been with her when she'd lost him, to dry her tears and hold her close. 

"My mom is my father's second wife, so Javier was technically my half-brother. My mom wasn't his biggest fan, and because of that, my dad wasn't either" Maria explained, using the tip of her finger to draw the family tree in the air in front of her. "Javier named me, too. He chose Maria del Camino, because he knew my surname would be Santiago; you know, Santiago de Compostela? In Spain? _Camino_ means path, or way. Javier had the dream of doing a pilgrimage there" 

"Oh yeah, of course, I know about it. We could go there, some day. To honor him" Isaiah suggested, remembering reading something about the place in one of his father's many books. "I've seen some pictures, and it looks beautiful" 

"It really does. I would love to go there some day. Like you said, to honor him. And I'd love some company" Maria beamed, looking up at the much taller Isaiah. "Your dad is a preacher, isn't he? Protestant? Catholic?" 

"Catholic, actually. I'm not very devoted, but I know a bit about religious spaces, and I've read the Bible" he chuckled, relishing on the sound of Maria chuckling in unison. "Ugh, what even are religious spaces? I mean towns, and cities, and sanctuaries" 

"I think I got it, don't worry" she assured, stashing her hands in her pockets, resenting the cool evening air. Despite the smallness of the gesture, Isaiah picked up on it, and took off his coat, wrapping it around Maria, as snug as possible. The garment was way too big for her, but it was warm. "Thank you, are you sure you don't need it?"

"Yeah, this suit jacket is pure wool" Isaiah said, relishing on the sight of Maria (who hardly reached his shoulder), warm and cozy in his coat. "Better?" 

"Much better, thank you. I feel like I've thanked you a thousand times, but really... this coat is pretty great" 

The hours passed, and before long, Isaiah was forced to go back to the train station, to get his transportation back to Birmingham. Maria insisted on accompanying him, taking off the coat and giving it back, leaving her scent on it, just like she did on the note, although it was undetectable for anyone who wasn't Isaiah Jesus. Come to think about it, her cotton dress was not nearly enough to shield her from the cold night. 

"Keep it, I've another one at home" Isaiah insisted, placing the coat in her arms, but Maria wouldn't take it. "I'm serious" 

"I am too, take it" Maria responded, giving it back. "You can use it as a blanket on the train, and I'm close to home" 

"Will you be safe going back?" he inquired, terrified that anything even worse than cold would happen to that precious creature. 

"Sure I am. I hope you are, too. Will you write? I don't have a phone" she informed, watching as the train approached the platform. "I can read and write, though" 

"I'll write, don't worry. Thank you for delivering the letters, and thank you for not cussing me out for coming here and telling you all those things. I know it was completely inappropriate..." 

Isaiah did mean to say something else; however, he was cut off, and rendered speechless by Maria's soft palms on his cheeks, and her kissing him full on the lips. Goes without saying that he'd dreamed of her kissing him (not just that, but that too), but it was also needless to say reality far surpassed every possible figment of his imagination. She tasted incredible, a hint of spice still present on her tongue, and the perfection of her body against his was enough to drive any man in love to madness. 

"Be safe, alright?" he pleaded when she let go, her forehead against his chest, hiding from the world and doing what she could to keep them both in that bubble that didn't allow anything to disturb them. 

"You too" 


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alright, back to Finn.   
> NSFW too!

Every single one of the days that passed since my best friend came back from Swansea was a day that I could find him at his home, without fail. You know how hard it is to find a ladies' man home on a Saturday night, right? Now, it was easy, even predictable, to see him at his dinner table, with his father. Isaiah was different, and had even taken to writing letters day after day, sending them to Maria at regular intervals. As my own life is boring at the moment, I took my best friend's budding relationship as my own personal form of entertainment. I'd been practicing reading and writing too, since there were some letters from Ada and Polly (and even Karl, strangely), which I wanted to keep to myself, and to which I wanted to reply myself. 

So, you're possibly wondering why I am telling you about today in particular. Well, it's because of two things, proving the point of 'when it rains, it pours': first, I picked up the wrong letter... and second, Tommy asked to see me for the first time in months. First was the letter, which was simply laying on the floor of my home. I thought it had fallen from my coffee table, so I went to pick it up, and unfolded it. Imagine how surprised I was to read what could only be described as an excerpt from an erotic novel (the kind the library keeps at the back). 

_Do you think it's been easy to me? I mean, it's been almost three months since we saw each other here, and all I did was kiss you. Truth be told, I regret not asking you to stay the night, but you already had your return ticket, and I didn't want to be too forward. Now, putting it to paper is a little less complicated, isn't it? It is for me, at least. When you said you wanted to sweep me off my feet, and have my legs around you as we kissed, I could see it clearly in my head; and when you said you wanted me to sit down on the edge of the bed, spread my legs open and know what I taste like when I'm soaking wet... well, don't ask what I did. I'd rather show you when I visit, or when you visit me._

_Honestly, I've never felt this way before. I cannot wait to see you again, and I think about you all the time._

_All my love,_

_Maria_

Imagine reading the first sentence of this, and being so hooked on whatever it was that you simply could not stop reading. Of course, I shouldn't have continued... but I did, and even considering I'm not a virgin, I wasn't exactly sure if I wasn't slightly shocked. Sadly, I couldn't stop myself thinking of what Isaiah had written Maria to warrant such a response, which was a terrible idea. 

"Oi, mate! That's mine, what the fuck are you doing with my letter?" Isaiah shouted, yanking the piece of paper from my hands before I even realized he had entered the house. "I've been looking for it, too. How much did you read?"

"I uh... I read..." I stuttered, knowing that my face would betray me. "All of it? I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have" 

"You really shouldn't" he replied, folding the paper and stashing it away in the inside pocket of his suit jacket. He too was blushing, refusing to meet my eyes. "I don't read your letters, do I? Even when they come to my house" 

"Which I appreciate, but the letters I get aren't explicit" I chuckled, enjoying that moment of awkwardness far more than I would enjoy meeting with my brother. Didn't it say everything about the state of our relationship, that I would rather read my friend's dirty letter, than to go speak to Tommy?

"That was meant for me, not for anyone else!" 

"Did you really say you wanted to spread her..." I teased, but Isaiah was having none of it, threatening to punch me before he went ahead and sat down, breathing deeply to calm himself before he did hit me. "She did send you all her love, so is it getting serious?" 

"I shouldn't tell you a single thing" he spat, forcing out a breath. But then, out of nowhere seemingly, his lips parted in a huge smile, bigger than I'd ever seen in him before. "It's serious to me. Haven't been with anyone since I met her, neither do I want to be. I want to be with her, want to get my hands on her, want to kiss those lips again, want to... you know what, I don't even have the words to articulate what I want that woman to do to me" 

"Seems... pretty serious to me" I laughed, pouring myself some whisky, and wondering what it was like to actually want to be with someone not because humans had needs, but because you were so in love there was no other way to demonstrate it. "Will you visit her? Will she visit you? Anytime soon, I mean" 

"I'm going up to Swansea next week. Got a room at the hotel, even. I'm not expecting her to have sex with me, but I want to spend more than an afternoon with her" Isaiah explained, almost as if he was trying to convince me that he wasn't only after a fuck. "I've a gift to deliver, too. I had a coat made, like the ones we wear, as warm as possible. I don' think she owns something of the sort"

"That's really thoughtful, she'll be happy with it. How did you know her measurements?"

"I didn't, I just told the tailor she was shorter than me, and showed him more or less. It might be too big, but I can bring it back to have it altered" 


	16. Chapter 16

"You know what we call someone who lies to their kin? Hm, Finn? You know the name we give to despicable fucking bastards who go against their family, who has done nothing but give them money, and whores, and power?" 

Tommy always spoke to me like that, always. Always spat, and made me flinch, and looked right through me with those piercing eyes that I simply hated, that I simply detested. The only one who seemed to like them was Lizzie, and she had her fair share of incomprehensible tendencies toward my brother. I used to love him, I seriously did. Used to idolize him, just like I did John and Arthur. Used to think he simply could do no wrong, and that each second he devoted to me was a second I should be thankful for. But here's the sad, stark reality of it: growing up means you get to do more, be more... but it also allows you to see more. And what I saw was a man whose kindness, whose ability to love was simply gone. Seeing him like this made me understand how Polly had been capable of trying to kill him. She must've seen how beyond saving he is ,and wanted to spare us from whatever the wounded animal would do; she wanted to give Ada and Karl a chance to get out before he could ruin everything, and wanted to protect all of us. 

If I said it once, I've said it a thousand times: Tommy Shelby, my brother, is broken beyond repair. Beyond human. Beyond salvation. And there is nothing to be done. There is nothing I can do. I should've known Polly was right, because she was never wrong. Deep down, I think Arthur knows it too, knows his brilliant brother is too far gone. 

But it was me whom he decided to call, it was me whom he wanted to accuse, it was me he wanted to humiliate. 

"Say it yourself. If you want to accuse me, accuse me right. I'm not a child to play riddles with" I responded, using all of the acid burning in my very soul, eroding my stomach, making me less human, as well. 

"What did you just say to me? What did you say? Watch your mouth, Finn" he countered, standing up from behind his desk and going around to meet me, face to face, eye to eye, man to man. Except he couldn't; he couldn't because I towered over him, and he had to look up to meet my gaze. 

"You heard me: you want to accuse me of something, accuse me directly. I don't have the time or the patience for games" 

I guess that's the straw that broke the camel's back, the drop that made the cup run over. That's alright, though; I'd lost my patience way before he lost his, so I probably had it coming. But let me tell you how I feel, and maybe you'll understand what happened. Before me, was the man who had gotten my aunt's future husband killed; the man who tried to kill someone we had a deal with, a deal to right his own wrong; he was actively trying to find people who didn't want to be found... and so on, so forth. Soon enough, mere moments after this conversation, one more thing would be added to this list... but that one thing is in the future, and so terrible I will keep it silent until the moment is right. 

"You know where Polly is, you know where Ada is, you knew they'd be taken, AND YOU DID NOTHING ABOUT IT" Tommy shouted, making the glass on the window tremble. "How dare you how fucking dare you keep it from me?" 

"How dare you say they were taken? They wanted to leave, they wanted to fucking leave, because OF YOU" I shouted back, matching the intensity he displayed. "You are so arrogant, so full of yourself, that you always think it's about you. Well, it is, but it's not a vendetta, or even a petty vengeance. They wanted to get the fuck away from you, and they don't want to be found" 

"You know what happens now, don't you Finn? Now, you tell me where they are. You tell me how come you and Arthur keeping getting letters from them, without a return address" Tom tried to persuade me, his voice nothing but a whisper. It was the same tone he used with me when I was a child, and was playing in the middle of the betting shop, and he needed me to leave. It was the voice of someone who wanted something done, under the guise of tolerance. It was the voice of a leader, of a dictator. And I didn't like it one bit.

"I'll give you two guesses as to why the letters they send don't have return addresses" I sarcastically said, going as far as letting out a meaningful chuckle. "You know how much Polly means to me. You know how much Ada means to me, and her children, too. You know how much they mean to Arthur, too, and he's lost Linda already. But you still went after Georgia Gold, you still allowed Aberama to put his life on the line for you. If you had just let him have his..." 

"Jimmy McCavern would have killed him" Tommy interrupted, misinterpreting me. 

"As I was saying, if you had just let him have his happy ending with Polly. If you had just stayed the fuck away from Gigi. If you were a man with the slightest bit of honor, if you really wanted to turn her father's killers in... but no. Of course not. How dare I think you were a good man. How dare I think there were lines you wouldn't cross" was my answer, one that I gave with a bit of a shaky voice. I won't lie and say it hadn't been rehearsed a thousand times in my head, but it felt way better to say it out loud than it did in the darkness of my room, to myself only. 

"I did it to protect us" 

"That's what you always say. Always, Tommy. And even I can see through your bullshit now. Even I can see how that's what you say when you mean you are obsessed with making us something we never should've become" 

Tommy looked at me, and something behind his eyes let me know he had heard something like that before. He was stunned, looked beyond shocked, and didn't have a reply to what I threw in his face. Even more significant was the glimmer of guilt I could see reflected in his irises, a sight so rare I had trouble identifying it at first. As self-assured as my brother is, he does sometimes admit to being wrong, and I was about to see one of those instances. 

"They left because they wanted to?" Tommy asked, his voice going back to a normal tone, instead of a patronizing or accusing one. "They aren't in danger?" 

"No. I'm saying this with all the certainty in the world; the letters come from them, and someone we can trust has seen them" I informed, trying very hard not to implicate Isaiah in whatever was going on here. By now, he probably was in Swansea, reunited with Maria... and I did trust him with my life, and he was supposed to be seeing Ada and Polly, as well as Karl and the new baby, Elizabeth. 

However, I didn't count on one thing: the fact that the only two people I trusted with no reservations were Arthur and Isaiah... and Arthur's whereabouts were always accounted for by Tommy. So, only Isaiah had been absent (meaning, away from Tommy's eagle vision)... these were the dots I should have connected once Tommy said he knew about the correspondence. And I also should've known he would take action before throwing it in my face. 

"What have you done?" I asked, shaking like a flower in a storm, always trying to conceal it, balling my fists. "WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?" 

Tommy went to the phone, and started dialing numbers, apparently at random. He then waited to get a connection, and said some words into the communicator. He didn't seem like he had been able to get what he wanted, so he slammed the speaker, and took a deep breath. My brother didn't really regret much... but he did regret what he'd done, whatever it was. 

"Who is Maria Santiago?" he inquired, refusing to look at me. If he had, he'd seen my skin erupt into goosebumps at the mention of that name. 

"She... someone Isaiah met. She came to Birmingham looking for a job, but she's from Swansea" I replied, trying to remain calm. "To answer your next question... yes, it is a coincidence Maria is from Swansea" 

That was a lie, but to hell with it. Fuck it. Fuck everything. 

"I had your friend Isaiah followed when he said he was sick a couple of months ago. He went to Swansea, met with this girl, walked on the park with her. We got her address, should we need to be worried" Tommy stated, deadpan. By now, I was almost crying. Had they followed Maria? Had they found out... no, they couldn't have. They couldn't have. "Seems innocent enough. But then, I found the letters, just last week. And I knew I needed Isaiah to talk. He didn't, so my men took it upon themselves to find Maria, and use her to make Isaiah talk" 

That's the disgrace. That's the thing I said escalated everything. By now, Isaiah would be in Swansea, probably looking for Maria, his beloved Maria, the girl who cleaned homes to help her family make due. I didn't even know the full extent of it, but I knew one thing: Isaiah had kept quiet, had stayed loyal, not knowing what would happen if he wasn't... and I didn't even want to imagine what had been done to a girl who was honestly pure, and good, and already had too much on her plate. What had they done to her? What had Tommy done to yet another innocent? 

"What did you do? Tommy, what did you do?" 

"Go home, Finn. Or go to Swansea, to be with your friend" 

He had the nerve to say this, knowing full well what had happened. At least, I could sleep at night knowing that Ada and Polly were safe, and the connection to Swansea had come out clean. As for going to Swansea, I did try, and I did get a ticket to Cardiff, where I would have to find a way to get there. 


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is written from Isaiah's point of view at first, and from Finn's after the break

Arriving at Swansea was the highlight of Isaiah's month, maybe year. He had lived in a constant state of torture ever since he'd last seen Maria, especially counting in the letters they'd exchanged. It started when she brought up their kiss at the train station, and he had admitted he wished he could've spent the night in her hometown. Isaiah meant that as in being able to see her for longer, maybe the day after, but Maria took it differently, saying she wished she had a home to herself, or somewhere private they could have used. Of course, that crossed his mind, and to know it did hers too... well, it made for very interesting reading, the type of literature he'd read time and time again when no one else was around. Whatever happened when they were together was something else entirely, but one thing was for sure: Isaiah would hop on a train as soon as he could get away from Birmingham. If nothing more than a more heated kiss happened, that was fine; but if Maria wanted something more, he was more than game. 

Deep down, he knew something was wrong the moment the train approached the platform. Despite scanning the small crowd at the station, Isaiah could not see Maria, despite having told her what time he would be there, and her promising she would be there. His heart dropped, and then started beating very fast, all the while his stomach turned. Call it intuition, call it a hunch, but something was wrong. Trying to remain calm, Isaiah made his way to Maria's address, hands trembling inside his pockets, pacing himself as best as he could. 

All he had to do was get halfway down her street to confirm his fears: in front of the red door of the Santiagos, there was a group of people, all agitated and clearly on edge. He couldn't see what they were hunched over, but what a coincidence it was that Maria wasn't at the station, and that her door was hidden behind very worried people. That was the sight that made Isaiah abandon all pretense of coolness, and start running toward the buzzing crowd, praying that Maria was alright, that she was trying to help whoever was hurt. Looking back, he already knew what he would find, but kept trying to will reality to bend and alter. Goes without saying that not even a preacher's son could do that. 

"What happened? Ms. Santiago, what happened?" Isaiah asked in a frenzy, finding Maria's mother coming out of the mass of people, sobbing violently. 

"The men... two men come... Maria get home, and they grab her" ms. Santiago explained, covering her mouth with her hand. "She dead, she dead..." 

Those words were uttered with such certainty Isaiah felt his knees weakening. Despite all of it, he pushed through the people, only to find his love on the dirt ground, covered in blood, curled up into a fetal position. Next to her, a man knelt, with a bag next to him, and a box of smelling salts in his hand, under the patient's nose. Maria didn't even seem to breathe, let alone be capable of waking up. 

"And you are...?" the doctor asked, seeing the way Isaiah knelt next to him, tears in his eyes, looking for something he could do to help. 

"I'm uh... her..." Isaiah tried to come up with a good term, but that particular subject wasn't among the ones they'd put in writing. Sweetheart? Partner? Boyfriend? 

"She's still alive. Do you think you could carry her a few blocks, to my practice? I've some things there that I think could help me treat her better" 

Isaiah did not need to be told twice: as careful as possible, he slid his arms under Maria's body, and lifted her up, as gently as humanly possible. Unfortunately, he did not feel her stir, although he could detect a very faint breeze on his neck, where her head was laying; that was good news indeed. 

* * *

I arrived in Swansea about 48 hours after my conversation with Tommy, and countless methods of transportation later. All I had to go on was the vague memory of the note Maria had written with her address, making it a miracle that I managed to get to the right place. There, I could only find an older woman, who turned out to be her mother, and who tearfully directed me to a nearby doctor's office, where I should find not only Maria herself, but my best friend as well. 

"Finn? What are you doing here?" I heard his voice calling out, as soon as I stepped foot into the office. He looked like he hadn't gotten a wink of sleep for the longest time, and he'd forgone the suit jacket and waistcoat, opting to just wear his white shirt, with sleeves rolled up to the elbows. 

"How's Maria? Is she..." 

"She... I don't... Do you know who did this?" Isaiah asked, turning around and walking me to an immaculate small room at the back of the building, throw a pretty long corridor. At the end, there she was, black hair against a stark pillow, eyes closed, legs covered by a white sheet. The top half of her figure was a sad spectacle of bandages and ice-packs, dry blood and stitched cuts. 

"Do you need to ask?" I countered, hoping he wouldn't react violently, cuss me out, or set off to kill Tommy with his bare hands. In actuality, he did no such thing: my best friend just sank down onto a nearby chair, simply watching Maria breathe. "He got a hold of the letters Ada sent me and Arthur. Because you said you were ill the first time you came here, he simply thought you were making contact with them. But don't worry, he doesn't know anything" 

"Me? Worried? I'm not worried, Finn, not at all" Isaiah sarcastically remarked, full of pain, full of resentment. I understood it, but now I couldn't take back my stupid reassurance, couldn't take anything back, couldn't undo the shit I'd gotten Maria into. 

"I'm so sorry, I never thought..." 

"You know what, it's not your fault. I'm a Peaky Blinder, right? And I should know that, because of that, everything I touch is bound to suffer. Everyone I love, every glimpse of hope, of happiness, of safety... This is on me" he almost cried, voice cracking as he spoke. "But I couldn't give her up, couldn't let go. Couldn't resist, could I?" 


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sweethearts, please be aware of a TRIGGER WARNING FOR BRIEF MENTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.   
> I am very sorry, and please skip this chapter if this isn't for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sweethearts, please be aware of a TRIGGER WARNING FOR BRIEF MENTION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT.   
> I am very sorry, and please skip this chapter if this isn't for you.

Loyalty. 

Good old loyalty. 

Blind faith, too. Following orders, doing what you're told, obeying rules that were in place before your birth. 

One day, you're pushed too far; you meet a girl, you fall in love, you spend your days wanting to hold her in your arms, making her the happiest a human being has ever been. Love makes you see something, love makes something shift within your conscience, takes the blindfold off. Somehow, you don't want to hold on to your gun, you don't want your cap anymore, you don't even want to see the people you considered your family. Your whole life changes, and whether it's for the better, or the worse, you don't know, and you simply do not care. You don't care because everything seems pointless. In the grand scheme of things, maybe it really is fucking useless to try and find a lesson in everything you've done; because no matter how much you give, none of it has any sort of relevance, let alone any type of reciprocity. You did everything, and you received chaos in return. Unfair doesn't even begin to cut it, or explain it, or make it make sense. 

"I wonder if she's dreaming" I said, looking at Maria, her eyes closed, purple bruises decorating her features now that some time had passed since the attack. The doctor had been to see her not even an hour ago, deciding to keep her asleep, so she wouldn't have to withstand the pain of her injuries, while they were still fresh. Neither me nor Isaiah could argue with that logic, neither did we want to. 

"I hope she is. I hope it feels like sleeping, and that she doesn't remember anything when she wakes up" Isaiah responded, breathing in as deeply as he could. "I had a hotel room booked, because she said she'd never slept in a real bed before. The last thing I wanted was for it to be this one" 

Fuck, he sounded utterly broken, his cheek muscles tense under his skin, his jawline equally as stiff. As for that small bit of information, I didn't even know what to do; all I knew was that I wanted to cry, to cry hard enough to atone for my sins, to purge the guilt of robbing this man and this woman of their night in a hotel room, on a real bed. If a case could be made for the fault being all Tommy's, it really didn't make much of a difference. To think that my brother could be so cruel was to accept that I could never hope to redeem him, or to love him and admire him again. 

"Will you... would you consider going back to Birmingham?" I ended up inquiring, clenching my fists in anticipation. Sure, it was selfish to want my best mate in the same city as me, especially after what had happened, but I thought I'd ask, to get it over with, for it to hurt as soon as possible. 

"Do I have a choice? What will your brother do if I don't, eh? Come down here, chase her down, and finish the job? You know what her mother told me when I arrived? Do you know what... Whoever it was Tommy sent, was about to..." Isaiah had to stop talking, essentially because his voice simply didn't come out, didn't want to utter the words. Perhaps he was scared that saying it out loud could mean Maria hearing it, and we were still hoping she didn't remember anything. 

"Fucking pricks, I'll kill him..." I muttered under my breath, although we both knew too well I would never pull a trigger on Tommy Shelby. 

"No, you won't. You won't Finn. And I'm not saying this to spite you, I'm saying this as your friend: Polly tried, and couldn't. None of us is smarter, or more capable than her. Besides, I'd want to make him suffer first" was the answer, putting into words what I knew to be true. "In a perfect world, I would bring my dad here, spend the rest of my days trying to make amends. But it's not a perfect world, as much as I thought it was when I met Maria. Seeing her, I could see myself being better, doing better, for her. Wanted to take her to Santiago, in Spain, wanted to ask her to marry me there, wanted to have a dozen children, wanted to... wanted to live as if the name Shelby meant nothing to me. Here's the thing, though: I'm twenty-six, and that life is all I know. I'm in too deep, now. I know too much" 

"We have something on Tommy that would make him back off. I thought I'd use it in case he ever found out about Polly and Ada, but I can use it to back off all of you. Isaiah, he knows I know, and after this, he will believe me when I say I'll leak it to the press if he ever thinks about making a move to hurt you" I let out, having just remembered our getaway ticket, the solution to all the problems in front of us. Isaiah's face went from grim, to hopeful, as he too connected those dots, and came to the same conclusion: there was a way out, a feasible way out, and it could work. It would work, it had to work, and everyone would be safe. 

"I... that's brilliant. I can't believe I forgot that" he exclaimed, going as far as smiling at me. 

This brief moment of excitement was the last utterance of sound for a good hour and a half, both me and my friend falling into a comfortable silence, weighing the power of that information. In steady intervals, Isaiah got up from his chair and went to tend to Maria's lips, soaking a cloth, and dabbing it on her. It was during one of those occasions that she stirred, as if a shiver had ran up and down her spine. Then, her eyes fluttered opened, and even if she took a bit to focus her vision, she immediately seemed to identify Isaiah, smiling widely. However sweet, it seemed to hurt her pretty bad, due to the cut on her lip, and the bruises on her cheeks. 

"Why?" she asked, apparently confused by so many things she was seeing she didn't feel the need to specify. 

"Some cunts hurt you, but you're safe now" Isaiah informed, smiling at her too, that unbridled love coming back into his expression, once again lighting up the room. "I can give you something for the pain, if you want" 

"No, it's fine. Don't want to sleep again" Maria declined, looking around and finding me. Apparently, my presence came as more of a surprise than Isaiah's as her irises widened. "Finn?" 

"Yeah, I heard about what happened and came right away" I told her, watching her survey the state of her own body. now that the bandages were gone, and the stitches were visible. I never got to find out what went through her head then, but she didn't seem to think it more important than our presence, especially now that Isaiah had taken her hand, and just stared lovingly at her. 

"I'm fine" she shrugged, promptly wincing in pain from the effort. "What did they hurt me with?"

"Blades" Isaiah quickly stated, not really wanting to elaborate, and for good reason, too: none of us wanted to scare her, or explain why she'd been attacked. Someday, maybe, but not right now. "The doctor from your neighborhood treated you, and you're healing well, so no need to worry" 

"Not worried. I'm happy you two are here" Maria sighed, genuinely seeming on cloud nine, even if she was at a doctor's office, recovering from what could have been a mortal attack. "It's funny, I don't think I remember what happened. I remember opening the door, to go meet you at the station. But from then on... nothing" 


	19. Chapter 19

I was starting to think I should go back to Birmingham, to leave Maria and Isaiah to themselves, when she appeared out of thin air. The door opened suddenly, bringing in a rush of wind with it before it closed, and the terrifying figure of Georgia Gold came into the room. From what I remembered, she mostly wore black; however, today she had on navy trousers, a gray blouse, and knee-high riding boots, her hair flowing down to her shoulders. 

"Maria, how are you?" Gigi asked, making a beeline for Maria, and hardly noticing there were more people in the small room, although she had to have seen us. 

"I'm fine, I hope my mom explained..." Maria countered, but her boss didn't let her finish, bending over to examine the wounds and the stitches. 

"She did talk to me, and apologized for your absence, which wasn't needed at all. I'm sorry for only coming now, but I was on a business trip" Gigi explained, finally turning to look at Isaiah, eyeing him top to bottom before turning to Maria again, one eyebrow raised. "This him?"

"That's him" Maria informed, blushing ever so slightly. "Have you met?" 

"Not really, no. But I know about you, of course" Isaiah piped in, exchanging a quick look at me.

"You're with the Shelbies... and this is the precious Shelby angel" Gigi clearly mocked, shifting her attention to me. Same as when I first saw her, a shiver ran down my spine, and I was unable to hold her gaze. Fuck, she was otherworldly, in the worst kind of sense. From her eyes to her mannerisms, everything seemed specially design to instill a primal sort of fear in someone. Where I was concerned, it was doing its job. "Finn, is it? Your sister spends hours writing you letters, although you can barely read"

"Can I see her?" I asked, surprising myself for the boldness of the request. She didn't seem to take it the wrong way, though, going as far as smiling with her teeth. "And my aunt, too?"

"That's why I came. Nothing against the doctor, but I don't want Maria here any longer. Needless to say, you two are coming with me" Gigi ordered (that's what it was, not a suggestion or anything other than that), turning to Isaiah and sizing him up yet again. "You'll do fine, I think. Pick her up, as careful as you can, and bring her outside. I've a _vardo_ with me, to transport you" 

Isaiah did as he was told, not even hesitating. With all the care of the world, he slid his arms under Maria's body, and lifted her up, making sure she was snug against him before moving down the hallway. I followed, and Isaiah did too, a procession that ended with the three of us (me, Isaiah and Maria) inside what looked like the oldest _vardo_ in the world, with Gigi mounting the horse that pulled the vehicle. I couldn't say where I was due to the lack of windows, but I do know we must've traveled for about fifteen minutes before we came to a halt, and Gigi came to free us. In front of me, a true mansion in a quiet, well put together street. At the door, a vision from heaven: my sister Ada, looking incredibly worried. 

"Oh for the love of... right through here, up the stairs, second door on the right" Ada commanded Isaiah, who passed by her with Maria still in his arms. "Finn... oh Finn, I missed you so much" she exclaimed when she saw me, running out the house and coming to hug me. She smelled the same, looked the same, but I could feel that she was happy, much happier than I remembered her ever being in Birmingham. 

"I missed you too. It's much better to be here in person, rather than just sending letters" I responded, somehow at a loss for words, even after I had spent hours on end imagining what I would say to her, how tightly I'd hold her when I saw her again. "That's... some house you've got" 

"I know, right? Gigi makes good money with her farm. I do nothing all day, just look after the kids with Polly, and I can't say I hate it. I've been reading a lot, and doing some volunteer work in the city" Ada said, leading me to the house, which was amazingly warm in contrast with the outside. "Wait until you see Karl, and Elizabeth too" 

"Can't wait for that. But how are you? You seem..."

"Happy? Ecstatic? Madly in love?" she suggested, taking me to a sitting room decorated with simple, yet good taste. "I am, Finn, I am. I don't know if I deserve to be as happy as I am, but I won't deny it. I miss you, and Arthur, and the children... but it's a sacrifice I'm willing to make, to have a better life here, for Karl and Elizabeth to have a better life, away from everything" 

"I know what you mean. Me and Arthur both know this is the right choice for you, and seeing you now just makes it all the more obvious. I won't lie and say Gigi doesn't scare me shitless still, though" I admitted, making her laugh pretty hard, as if the thought was absolutely ludicrous. "I'm assuming she treats you well" 

"Well is an understatement. She's intelligent, and savvy, and interesting... I could talk to her for hours, and I'd never get bored. Just seeing her makes my heart forget how to beat. It's the strangest sensation, but it's thrilling" my sister beamed when she said those words, a kind of joy that was contagious that filled the air around us. 

"They're so sweet it's sickening" an all too familiar voice said from a door I hadn't identified. Polly, my aunt, my mother, was standing right in front of me, a smile the size of oceans in her face. I leaped from my sitting position, and all but ran to her, hugging her as tightly as I had Ada. 

"I missed you, I missed you so much" I let out, thinking I would die if I didn't say it right away. "Everyone does, you were the only thing holding us together" 

"I'll take that as a compliment. Your dear friend Isaiah is looking after Maria del Camino, but she's awake and seems to be healing" Polly informed me and Ada, who let out a sigh of relief. Despite that, she kept looking at the door, clearly waiting for Gigi to come back. "When I sent the girl to Birmingham, I was hoping you'd be the one staking a claim on her, not Jeremiah's kid" 

"You wouldn't say that if you saw the way he fell for her the moment he saw her" I laughed, the idea absolutely out of left field. Even if I wanted to fall in love, even if I could fall in love, Maria and Isaiah were pretty destined to be together. "Do you think she'll be fine?" 

"She'll be alright" Polly was saying, when the front door opened and closed, and Georgia entered our family reunion, prompting Ada to get up and kiss her right on the lips, as if they hadn't seen each other in years, rather than minutes. It really was touching, and if I hadn't believed my sister before, I sure did now. "See what I mean? Sickening" 

"Unfair. Where are my kids?" Georgia asked, looking around for the children. _Her children?_ Well, she was raising them with Ada, so I reckon she wasn't wrong. "Sleeping already?" 

"Yes, I put them down before Maria got here. Karl adores that girl and wouldn't be very happy to see her in the state she's in" Polly clarified, the smallest hint of an amused smile on her lips. "Don't think he's going to be happy with Isaiah, though" 

"Oh, yeah, that's... not going down smoothly" Gigi chuckled, approaching the centre table, and pouring four glasses of an unidentified drink. I didn't have a single clue as to what it was, but I drank it anyways, and it burned every single inch of my throat until it hit my stomach. The aftertaste was amazing though, a hint of wood, a dash of mint, and some sort of fruity taste I couldn't quite pinpoint. "What do you think?" she asked me, apparently caring about what I thought of the drink.

"It's... strong. But it's good. Really good" I honestly said, receiving a genuine smile in return. "What is it?" 

"I made it, actually. I'm experimenting with whisky" Gigi replied, taking a small sip of her glass. Ada was already done with hers, and Polly had only taken a couple of gulps. "Might sell it some day" 

"We should absolutely do that" Ada nodded, leaning back on the sofa with a beatific expression. "I have never, in my life, been as happy as I am now" 

"That's the drink, my love" Gigi teased, leaning against the door frame. Like this, with the warm light of the parlor on her, warming her features and somehow softening them, too, Georgia Gold was the most beautiful human being I had ever seen in my life, and I could see exactly what Ada meant when she said she was madly in love. Doesn't mean I love her like my sister loves her, but the love between the two of them showed a side of Gigi that I could see as lovable. 

"No, not really. I'm just happy, I've almost everyone I love in the same room" Ada countered, watching as her partner walked over to an armchair and sat down. Polly did the same, and we all just sat there, looking at the fire raging in the fireplace. 


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Please bear with me on the changes of POV! I think it's understandable, but please let me know in the comments whether you had any issue. Thank you!

Isaiah stared at Maria until his eyes stung and got teary. He didn't want to lose sight of her, and not because the injuries she sustained were life-threatening; that particular issue was no longer of substance, given her rapid improvement and quick healing process. Her mom, Guadalupe, had dropped by to visit her daughter, but there was no sign of her father. Finn couldn't be happier, dropping by several times a day. Gigi knocked at the end of the day, and Polly and Ada helped Isaiah with the patient, bringing food, changing bandages, everything. But still, Isaiah couldn't take his eyes off her. When she drifted off to sleep, he stayed awake, observing, counting and timing her breathing. The doctor hadn't requested it, nor did common sense when taking care of someone who's been injured. Perhaps it was a different code of ethics dictating his procedure: the code that said one's love can never be looked at enough. And Maria Santiago was truly a sight to behold. 

"There's this one that stings a little, but it's probably just because when i sit back, I press on it pretty hard" Maria explained, leaning forward and showing Isaiah the golden expanse of skin below her natural waist. The bandage wasn't bloody, but the skin around it had a red tint to it, almost like a rash had settled on there. "Have I messed it up?"

"No, not at all, the bandage is still there, and there's no blood. Your skin does look a bit irritated, though" he responded, examining the area, pitying the chemical scent that masked her usual perfume. The prettiest strand of hair reached down her back, and Isaiah saw his own fingers picking it up, gently, carefully. He'd never loved anything as much as he loved that strand of hair, that little token, that almost insignificant part of her. 

"All things considered, I still think there's no place in the world I'd rather be. Honestly, I'm just happy to be by your side, I'm happy you're here" she confessed, turning her head so that she could see what Isaiah was doing, to follow the path of his gaze on her. "I even dreamed about you, dreamed about getting a letter, sometimes I'd be walking down the street and I'd get a whiff of a cologne that was similar to yours" 

"I couldn't disagree more. I'd rather be away from you, than to know you're in pain. Pains me to say it, especially because being with you is the highest high of my life; but believe me when I say that when I saw you laying there, the first thing I thought was that I'd rather be dead than cause you any suffering" 

"Like the suffering of waiting for your letters?" Maria joked, accepting Isaiah's chin on her shoulder, eyes level with hers. "You would never cause me harm, I know you wouldn't" 

"You know what, that's not true. Even without knowing about it, I put you in harm's way. My boss..." 

"Your boss, the man who tried to kill ms. Gold" she added, listening attentively to what her sweetheart had to say. Over the previous days, Maria had given the subject of the attack some thought, but couldn't figure out who would want her dead. Hence, she'd landed on assuming it was a mugging, or even the worst kind of assault. How in the hell did Isaiah had anything to do with something so random? 

"Yes. He's Finn's brother. And Finn has been keeping the whereabouts of his sister a secret, a secret he shared with me. Since Finn didn't confess to it, Tommy just assumed that by attacking someone close to me, I'd..." Isaiah confessed, the knot in his throat becoming harder and harder to ignore. "I have... I have been wanting to tell you. But the... the thought of... I don't know, I was selfish, and I should've known that I'd endanger you by..." 

"You mean that they attacked me to try and get you, or Finn, to betray ms. Gold?" Maria asked, needing clarification: her next words would depend on the yes or the no that left Isaiah's lips. 

"Yes, exactly" he confirmed, nodding his head in accordance. Isaiah wasn't a coward, nor was he the kind of man to shy away from responsibility. Nevertheless, he was treading uncharted, even murky, waters, and had been so scared of losing Maria, that he couldn't even be himself. "If it helps, Tommy has completely abandoned the idea that I know anything, and I think Finn is convinced he doesn't even begin to suspect Swansea" 

"I'd die for them. I don't care about a couple bruises and some cuts: if I had to die to keep them safe, I would" Maria stated, her eyes as clear as the night sky outside her window. It wasn't bravado, or even an empty promise: it was pure and simple, as transparent as clear water. It was loyalty, the same loyalty Isaiah felt toward Finn, toward his father, even toward Tommy Shelby. 

"Won't be necessary" Isaiah chuckled, holding both her hands between his own. "I promise, you will never be in harm's way. Never, ever, you hear me? I am so sorry you had to go through this, I'm sorry for everything, I am so sorry" 

"Do you need me to forgive you?" Maria asked, turning her body as much as possible. "Because I do. I mean, I don't... Ms. Gold is involved in some stuff too, as are you and Finn. I know that what you do isn't all legal. I know all that, and I am still here. Still here, and here to stay" 

"You're too precious to be in any danger, I honestly won't survive if you..." was the reply, and by then, Isaiah was already on the brink of tears. 

"Isaiah. I'm not defenseless. I've a knife with me at all times, and if they hadn't attacked me from behind, I would have stood a chance. I've a revolver, too, that ms. Gold gave me. It's in my purse, but it fell away from me when they knocked me to the floor" Maria countered, even smiling a little bit. "I will, however, for personal purposes, request protection from you" 

"Personal purposes... sure" Isaiah chuckled, having to look away the second Maria bit her bottom lip. Fuck, the audacity to look that stunning when they had a room all to themselves... He wasn't serious, he knew she was recovering, but he knew very well she was teasing him on purpose; she'd done it before, and would most likely do it again. "You and that lip bite" 

"Can you blame me? You refuse to even do as much as kiss me. I'm in so much pain, and I am so tired, and surely I would be so much better off if you came into bed with me, and..." Maria further teased, batting her eyelashes, and feigning a pained look. She tried so hard to flirt, tried so hard to convince him (as well as all the other occupants of the home she was so grateful to be staying in) that she was alright. But Isaiah didn't believe it, didn't even want to hear it. 

"That's not going to happen" Isaiah laughed, kissing Maria on the cheek. "The bed isn't big enough for me to give you and your bandages the space you need" 

"I'm fine! Nothing hurts. Nothing hurts, I'm serious! You've been sleeping on that chair for two nights. Please? I really don't want to beg" Maria pouted, achieving what seemed to be impossible: to change Isaiah's mind, and get him to take his shoes, his suit jacket, his waistcoat and suspenders off, and lay beside her, even if only on top of the covers. Finally, all seemed right in the world. 


	21. Chapter 21

In what world was it fair that a woman like that was real? Did this ridiculous rhetorical question even make any sort of sense, both grammatically and feeling-wise? Because let's be honest: Georgia Gold was so many things (mostly bad, some good, hopefully), but she was not a lyricist, or a writer. She didn't know how else to say it, though, so these down-to-earth, simple sentences would have to do. Otherwise, Gigi was convinced her brain would explode, scrambling for some form of rationality in the midst of feelings that were anything but rational. The way her hair moved, the way she spoke, the way she bit her lip, of even painted her nails... everything, every single thing. The gorgeous Ada Shelby, that gorgeous creature, that insanely... shit, she would end up being the reason Gigi would be needing help with her brain. There were doctors for that now, and it wasn't like she couldn't afford a good one; but Gigi had this craving, this apetite for the way Ada made her feel. And if help got rid of it, Gigi wanted nothing to do with it. 

"So?" Ada's voice said, cutting through Gigi's haze. "Are you going to use the bathroom?"

"I am, yeah, sure" Gigi responded, shaking her head, stepping into the bathroom and looking around, as if she had never been there in her life. After a day in a cattle farm, she had some sort of dust or mud clinging on to her, and there was no way she would get in bed with Ada in such a state. The water brought her back to reality, the ice-cold water she preferred over warm. A remnant of her childhood, when only running rivers provided enough waters for something that resembled a bath. She even remembered the way the foam from the soap got carried away with the stream, and the way this shower was a radical change. What was more, this shower was hers, inside her home, the one she got with her own money, earned through her own efforts (not legal, but still her efforts). Now, as important as that was, being able to protect her love, and their children, and her family... it meant the world. It meant the fucking world. There was no heaven up in the sky, simply because it was right there in Swansea. 

"Are you alright? You looked slightly off" Ada called in, poking her head through the door. 

"Not off, no. Just tired you know. Being tired makes me get in my head" Gigi responded from under the water. "Nothing happened, we're not in any type of danger, I promise" 

"I know, I know. I'm just being paranoid, and I know that, but when I saw you just standing there, I..." Ada sighed, not very sure she wanted to say what she'd thought. Invariably, she would end up saying it, because it simply wasn't in her nature to keep quiet. Moreover, there was the undeniably obvious: that this was Gigi, the same person Ada adored, and whom she knew would understand. "Fuck, I sometimes think that I'm not the only one. I get jealous, that's what it is" 

Gigi was pretty much done with her shower, but even if she wasn't, she wouldn't have changed a single thing about her actions: turning off the water, she flung the curtain to the side, and stared at Ada, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Her state of undress was tantalizing, but Ada found herself more concerned with the lank expression on her partner's face. 

"Jealous? Jealous of whom? Ada, I would never. I would never, I love you. I get in my head, that's all it is. Really. I promise you, on my life" Gigi assured, eyes wide with shock and a tint of desperation. "And I am sorry for working so much, I'm trying to make sure we'll be fine, all of us. I don't want either you, or Polly, or God forbid the children to ever want for anything" 

"I know that! I understand" Ada nodded, grabbing a towel and handing it to Gigi, watching as the Romani blonde dried her hair, and then the rest of her body. Once she was done, she put on a robe, and only then did she wrap her arms around Ada. "I do, really. I don't resent you, not one bit. I'm so thankful for everything you do for us. It's me, I'm overthinking" 

"I love you, eh? I really do, Ada. Don't doubt it, for a single second" Georgia promised, looking Ada in the eyes, and tucking a piece of hair behind her love's ear. "It's you and me, now and forever. You're my girl, my partner, my wife, no matter what anyone fucking says" 

"I love you, too. My family has invaded the house" Ada laughed, inhaling slowly, letting Gigi kiss along her jawline, and down to the pulse point on her neck. "Does it bother you?"

"Me? No, not at all. I'm Romani, I'm used to community" Gigi responded, apparently unbothered by her own actions, which was the polar opposite of what Ada, the vessel, was feeling. "Besides, I love weddings" 

"You mean Maria and Isaiah? For sure, I can see that happening" Ada chuckled. "Are these walls thick?" 

"Rock solid" 


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> From Finn's POV!

I came to the top of the stairs, and found only the utmost silence. I had been speaking to aunt Polly for a while, in the parlor, but she'd gone to bed already. I myself stayed downstairs, looking at the fire on the hearth, and wondering how I might be able to extend the utter peace I felt at that moment. Even without knowing the root cause (which seemed more spiritual than material), the walls surrounding me were the safest I'd ever been found myself within. My home, in Small Heath, was nothing to write home about, and Tommy's mansion was too cold for my liking, too sumptuous to ever be a home. Other than that, there was Polly's former house, but I felt like there were ghosts there, presences I failed to understand, and that made me as uneasy as everywhere else. Here, in Georgia Gold's home of all places, I felt completely and undeniably safe. Safe to sleep without one eye open, safe to focus on a fireplace for as long as I wanted, safe to entrust the house with my best friend, my sister, my aunt, my niece and my nephew, and not worry for them. Cozy, warm, decorated with taste... there was nothing I could wish for my family more than this. So I occupied my time alone wondering how I could achieve this, how I could someday own a harbor like this, to shelter all those I love. 

The matter of having a life partner, though, had been a tough one to discuss with Polly. She asked me about it, and listened when I said I had no interest in one. Likewise, I told her I no longer desired to hire sex workers, as I had completely and utterly stopped trying to be Tommy. After what I'd seen, after what he'd done to Maria, I could see, as clear as day, that I wanted nothing to do with the man, let alone have him as a role model. If anyone, my role model should be Gigi, since this home was my goal, and she was its owner. Perhaps she wasn't much better than Tommy, given that she did what he did: offer protection, rule a city with a fist of iron... but she had her code, her loyalties, firmly stuck to her head: family first, only killing bad people, and making sure her loved ones were safe. Lucky me, eh? Lucky me that we loved the same people. And lucky me to be here right now, to be under this roof. 

I stopped in the middle of the corridor of the second floor, and took the liberty of peaking inside the doors that led to Karl and Elizabeth's rooms. Both were as peaceful as could be, and both breathed steadily, each clinging to their preferred plush animals. Elizabeth looked so small in her sleep, so sweet and innocent, somehow bringing tears to my reluctant eyes. She was so loved, so protected, and so was her half-brother. When she was older, she would be the smartest most intelligent woman in the world, and her strength would surely rival that of her mother and great-aunt. As for Karl, he seemed to be a little less pedantic, and less inclined to the type of worldview that didn't suit a boy of Romani descent, or a decent person for that manner. He too would grow up to have a stellar future, and, as an uncle who had no prospects, I couldn't be happier. Their world would be completely different than mine, and grateful didn't even begin to explain my feelings. 

Polly's room still had light under the door, and I didn't dare bother her, but I did open the door to the room Maria was occupying, which had no luminosity whatsoever. To my surprise, I didn't find Isaiah sitting on the armchair by the bed, where he'd been since the day before. No, he was sleeping, as soundly as a babe, next to his beloved, albeit over the covers that kept her warm. Likewise, he didn't hold her in his arms, probably afraid he would hurt her; instead, he had her hand in his, fingers interlaced. Even in the pale moonlight, I could see the likeness of their skin, the peace they shared, the bond of a love that would survive. What's more, they both were so unmistakably beautiful that God himself was probably watching them sleep, in awe of his own creations, and of his own ability to bring them together. 

Last but not least, and before I got to my own borrowed bedroom, I focused my wide-awake eyes on the stream of light emanating from the master bedroom, the one at the end of the corridor, right in front of me. Like I said, everything was absolutely silent, and even if there was any movement going on inside the room, I couldn't hear it. Sure, this was a bit like prying, but truthfully, no one had any reason to know what I was doing, and I wasn't spying. What I was, though, was amazed. Amazed at how much love I could feel, amazed at how happy I could feel, and at how warm it was. 

Even inside my room, I couldn't let go of my haze: I was so lost in thoughts that I got rid of my clothes and got under the covers without noticing a single second go by. I never pray, but I found myself praying to whatever entity ruled the universe that I could stay like this forever. Honestly, I don't think I remember falling asleep, but I must have. I must have because I had terrible nightmares, the kind that you want to wake up from, but can't seem to. Nevertheless, and for once, I woke up to a reality that was a complete 18 from my dreams. 


	23. Chapter 23

A new day rose to greet the world, and with it Isaiah and Maria. Her hand still on his, their eyes receiving the sunlight, everything was as idyllic as the predicament allowed. After nights of relying on an armchair for support, Isaiah missed a proper bed with a proper mattress, and in any other situation that would be what he would focus on: the softness that encased his tired limbs, and the night well slept that a good pillow provided. However, this was no ordinary morning: the home he was in wasn't his, the bed wasn't his, and the girl by his side wasn't just any girl. Maria took a good minute to open her eyes and acknowledge him, but Isaiah didn't mind at all, simply because it gave him time to admire her, admire the fluttering of her eyelids, the furrowing of the brows, and the scrunching of the nose that characterized her first moments back to the world. 

"Good morning" Isaiah smiled, turning on his side to better look at his love, equal parts relieved that she hadn't succumbed to her (dwindling) injuries, and stunned by his sheer dumb luck to wake up next to her. "How did you sleep? Does anything hurt?" 

"Gosh, good morning. I feel fine, I really do, but I don't know if I can be very articulate in the morning" Maria responded, yawning behind her hand, and extending her arms over her head. 

"I'm sorry" he chuckled, going back to laying on his back, hands behind his head. "I'm not a morning person either" 

"You're gorgeous, though" Maria sighed, completely engrossed by the sight of the man by her side, sleep in his eyes, tired but happy. She felt the same, although she didn't think she could ever look as stunning as Isaiah did right then.

"Gorgeous? That's the first time anyone has ever said that to me" he laughed, only to stop abruptly as Maria used her own forearms to move her body, positioning herself sideways, just like Isaiah had, minutes ago. "Please be careful" 

"I'll be alright. Those first two days were the worst. But it's been almost five days" she explained, heavy eyes focusing on Isaiah. "I feel way better, I honestly do. Especially after I finally got you to sleep in a proper bed" 

"Despite my initial reluctance... I have to admit, this feels pretty damn good" was the reply, as Isaiah comprehended he could not look away from Maria. It was absolutely impossible for him to do so, and she didn't look too bothered, either. "It wasn't that I didn't want to share a bed with you, I was just afraid I'd hurt you, even with all precautions. What if I moved in my sleep, what if I touched one of your wounds and made it hurt?"

"I heal fast, actually. Always have. I'm pretty healthy, despite the heavy manual labor. Maybe because of it, actually" Maria smiled, even if she did feel lazy for taking so much time off work. Sure, Gigi had said she was going to take as much time as needed (it was a statement, not a suggestion), but for a woman who had never taken a day off, it was hard to not work. "Isaiah, I am so grateful for you. I really am. You are under no obligation to be here, to be by my side" 

"Where else would I be? In Birmingham, working for the man who did this to you? Away from you?" Isaiah inquired, the usual pang of guilt overwhelming him for the hundredth time within a week. "No. My place is here, with you, like I said in my letters" 

"Should I remind you of what else you said in those letters?" Maria teased, prompting Isaiah to blush and nervously chuckle. He knew all too well what he had said, and he did stand by it; but the context was vastly different now. This wasn't healthy Maria, and (very) passionate Isaiah; this was injured Maria, and an Isaiah that was walking on eggshells to make sure he didn't hurt her, and make her predicament even worse. "I remember how it felt reading them" 

"You know what? That's a low blow coming from someone who claims not to be very articulate in the morning" he went ahead and called out, although Isaiah had to admit it was incredible how Maria managed to flirt while looking like she could fall asleep at any second. "I feel it too, I want you too. Don't doubt it, for one second. It's just that..." 

"...that I'm hurt. I'm sorry for... the pressure, and... I don't know... everything, I guess" Maria nervously uttered, biting her bottom lip. 

"You're... you're really apologizing to me for wanting to have sex with me? After both of us putting that very same desire in writing? Are you serious?" Isaiah asked, not even believing what was reaching his ears. 

"No, no, I'm saying I'm sorry because I keep bringing it up, despite you being very clear that you don't want to do it right now" Maria cleared up, sitting up, without any sort of struggle or apparent pain, which pleased Isaiah to no end. "I'll stop" 

"Don't stop" Isaiah pleaded, sitting up too, and kissing Maria on the lips, his fingers softly caressing her cheek. Luckily, he had committed to heart the location of her cuts, so he knew where to touch her, knew how not to hurt her. Of course, her lips, her tongue still made his heart sing out of sheer happiness. Their kiss at the park had been incredible, and Isaiah remembered every second of it; this one, this first kiss after the brutal attack that threatened to separate them, was a little more than incredible. Deep down, he did not know of any words that could encompass the tornado of happiness, fear, desire, love that ran through his veins, rendering him completely unable to breathe, to think, or function in any capacity. The only thing he managed to go ahead and do was kissing her, harder and harder with each passing second. 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finn's POV again!

I looked outside the window, trying to see someone crossing the street, or going about their day. In Birmingham, there were people everywhere, and I couldn't go anywhere without bumping into someone I knew, or had seen before. Here in Swansea, and in this street in particular, things seemed to be as calm as a lake on a sunny day. There wasn't a soul in sight, and I couldn't say I missed the bustle of busier streets, such as the ones outside my modest home in Small Heath. In any case, the absence of passing strangers was a little odd, and difficult to get used to. However, I could see why Gigi would want somewhere secluded, if not for herself, for her family. And despite her appearance and manners, she was the type of Romani who had made a very comfortable living, not unlike my brother Tommy. Both travelers at heart, they still understood that there were perks in settling down and making money. For my host, one of those advantages was this incredible living situation, and the opportunity to live with a same-sex partner, which was firmly against societal rules, and even the actual law. The fact that the aforementioned partner was my sister Ada, whom I had never seen as happy as she was now, didn't bother me one single bit. If anything, it was one of the reasons why I was so incredibly satisfied myself. The state of haze I was in, accompanied by the delicious scent of pancakes, made me careless, which was probably why I barged into Maria's room, without even thinking. 

Of course, you guessed what I walked into: my best friend Isaiah, in his undershirt (I remembered he was wearing his dress shirt when I checked on them the night before), kissing Maria in such a way I could not tell where one started and the other finished. Once again, I didn't mean to pry, and was getting ready to leave without them noticing me, but one of them did, and they separated in the blink of an eye. 

"Do you not know how to knock, mate?" Isaiah asked, his lips pursed in what seemed genuine anger. He'd never been cross with me, let alone like that, and it was... well, I knew I deserved it, but still felt like shit. "Fucks sake" 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt, or barge in on you, I was just making sure everything was alright" I replied, feeling my cheeks burning with red hot heat. Maria didn't even deign say a word, but I would swear I saw her smile behind her hand, and her eyes sparkled with the closest thing to laughter I'd ever seen. Good for her that this was amusing, because me and Isaiah were not about to even chuckle: I was mortified, he was mad as hell, and between us, the air was heavy with awkwardness. !I'm so sorry" 

"Seriously, not a big deal" Maria ended up saying, probably after seeing both me and her sweetheart refuse to look up from the floor. I was so terrified I had decided not to leave until I apologized enough for Isaiah to forgive me, which didn't seem to be an easy task to achieve. "Come on, it's really not! Just a kiss, no harm done" 

"I'm so sorry, so so sorry, I'll knock in the future, I promise on my life..." I guaranteed, stupidly on the verge of tears. For some dumb reason, I thought this would be the straw that broke the camel's back, and Isaiah would never want to see me again, let alone be my friend anymore. Perhaps it hadn't been a big deal for Maria, but it was for him: I knew how he felt about his privacy, which was one more reason why me just walking into his bedroom was absolutely unforgivable. Adding insult to injury, he was already pretty private with his short-term affairs in Birmingham, with women he had no intention of seeing a second time; I could only imagine the betrayal it was to interrupt his time with the one girl he had ever loved, and whom he had almost lost. 

"Fine, fine. I agree, it isn't a big deal. I'm sorry I reacted like that" Isaiah ended up saying, letting out a sigh under the adoring gaze of his beloved. I could see (anyone who saw those two could) that her presence did a lot for him, mostly in the sense of calming him down, of dragging him back to reason, when he wanted to go scorched earth on something or someone. Maybe this wasn't that extreme a case (I could see now that we'd both overreacted), but I knew him pretty well. She did too, despite knowing him for way less time: it was on clear display in the manner in which she looked at him, and knew what to say and do to keep him calm, to make him laugh. 

"No harm done" I exhaled, finally able to breathe again. This little episode should be enough to explain to any readers how deep our friendship was, and how much Isaiah meant to me. Needless to say, it wasn't romantic; it was the kind of love one feels for a brother, for kin. And shit, was I scared to lose my brother, who had been by my side through the worst moments of my young life. "I uh... I do promise to knock. And I'm happy you're both alright" 

By the time I exited the room, carefully closing the door behind me, my heart had calmed down, and no longer beat at the same frantic pace. As I walked to the stairs, I heard a door open and close behind me, and none other than the lady of the house, Georgia Gold, came out of the master bedroom, wearing a man's shirt, riding pants and knee-high boots. As per usual, she was dressed for horseback riding, her usual method of transportation. Between her fingers, a strangely thin and long cigarette, with all the looks of being hand-rolled. It was lit, and she slowly brought it to her lips and took a drag of it, all before she even looked in my direction. Damn, she was gorgeous, with her long flowing blonde hair, strong arms, and stupidly defined facial features. 

"Good morning" Georgia said, walking toward to me, smoking all the while. Honestly, as a smoker myself, I didn't smoke before breakfast... but Georgia (and Tommy, come to think of it) didn't seem to abide by societies rules (like I said before, actually). "You smoke?"

"I'm good, thanks" I responded, trying very hard to not stare, wide-eyed and open-mouthed. This woman was otherworldly gorgeous, in a manner that was different from all other beautiful people I'd seen before. I know I've said it before, but believe me when I say that every single time I saw her, it was like the very first time: I was still not over it, and probably would never be. I sincerely did not know how Ada managed to share a bed with this woman without staying awake all night just staring at her, without even blinking.

"How's your room? You're comfortable, right?" Georgia further inquired, standing right in front of me, looking up at me. She was shorter, like most people I came across, but her energy more than made up for it. Granted, I know she wasn't about to attack me; but I knew she very well could, and would do it in a way that would make me suffer insane amounts before I succumbed. Even worse was knowing she would still be as stunning while she did it, and somehow that was the bottom line for me. 

"Oh yeah, absolutely, it's perfect. Thank you for letting me stay, and thank you for everything you've done for my family. I have never seen Ada and Polly this happy" I said, taking this opportunity to say what I should've said days ago. I didn't mutter or stutter, which was surprising, but made me feel better about myself. 

"Don't mention it, really. The least I could do" Gigi dismissed, taking another drag of her cigarette, looking over my shoulder into the void, before exhaling the smoke and looking into my eyes again. "You know, your family has one really bad apple. The rest of you I like, I think" 

"That's... that's good to know. Good to know you won't kill me in my sleep" 

"Wouldn't do that to your sister. She's... well, she's the love of my life. I'd lay my life down for her, for the children, for Polly. Shit, I'd lay my life down for Maria Santiago" she chuckled, her teeth catching the light coming through the window. "Your friend Isaiah is a good man, isn't he? I know Maria wouldn't let a man into her bed if he wasn't outstanding, but I thought I'd ask anyway" 

"He's one of the best people I know, you don't have to worry" I laughed in return, finding the humanity in that impressive woman. She loved, and she loved hard, and we so happened to love the same people, to pledge our lives to the same people. I'd felt the same before, and I still felt lucky as all hell for this, for having her combine her efforts with mine to keep our loved ones safe, well fed, and happy. 

"Brilliant" Georgia threw at me, before turning and starting to go down the stairs. After the first step, she stopped and looked back at me. "Pretty sure Polly made pancakes, and you might want to come down and get some before Karl gets a whiff of the scent" 

Needless to say, there I was, right behind her. 


	25. Chapter 25

I made a point to knock severa times, and of only opening the door when both Isaiah and Maria's voices gave him explicit permission. Upon entering, Isaiah was back to his armchair, but Maria was sitting up, which was a very good sign. Her face lit up when she saw me, and she smiled so brightly Isaiah shifted his gaze from me to her, attracted by that light. This is why I liked seeing Maria: she always reacted to people she liked and trusted in this way, projecting such kindness it was almost like a blanket of warmth around my lanky being. Despite the obvious difference, Maria was another one of the creatures that were clearly too beautiful for this earth, just like Gigi; but instead of the threatening, borderline brutal nature of Georgia's beauty, Maria was all sweetness and peace. I liked both, and neither end of the spectrum was better than the other. They were just different, opposite. 

"Are you still doing alright?" I asked, looking more at Maria than at Isaiah, given that it was her health I worried about. My best friend was happy and healthy as long as Maria was too, and as long as he was by her side. "I hope I'm not interrupting again" 

"No, of course not" Maria assured, still smiling. "The doctor was here earlier, and said I was healing really fast. I'll be able to go home tomorrow!"

"You are? Wow, that's... amazing news!" I replied, before I could even calculate the consequences of that information. Once my brain connected the dots, I could see why Isaiah wasn't saying anything, and hadn't looked away from Maria: he was taking in every second he could with her, before he most likely had to leave for Birmingham. Of course, it didn't mean they had to breakup; but it burst the bubble they'd been able to built, even in adversity. They wouldn't be able to wake up next to each other, wouldn't be able to fall asleep next to each other. 

"Yeah, it's great, isn't it?" she responded, and I got the feeling she was telling it to herself as much as she was agreeing with me. Not that she wanted to be injured, not at all; but she had come to the same conclusions I had, way before I even knew I'd have to deal with it. "Finn, you've been an amazing friend. I can't thank you enough for everything" 

"Thank me? No, you've nothing to thank me for. There's nothing in this world that I wouldn't do for you, or for that man who's sulking in that armchair" I joked, managing to make Isaiah smile and look at me. It was clear now that he wasn't talking for a reason, and it wasn't resentment toward me, or something I'd done: it was because he was deep in thought. "I mean it, too" 

"I'd do the same for you. I just don't know what I'm going to do for myself" Isaiah sighed, looking up at the ceiling, a ray of light catching the tears gathering in his water line. I could see Maria spotted them too, and pursed her lips, trying not to follow, trying to stay strong for the both of them. "Don't know what to do with us, to be honest. What do I do? Does any of you know?" 

"No" Maria whispered, staring down at her hands, as if the answer to their dilema hid in her knuckles, or maybe somewhere along her nails. Predictably, it didn't work, and it was as dead of an end as before. 

"No" I echoed, shoving my hands down my pockets and hating myself for not being able to solve all their problems, even if I had to sacrifice myself to grant their wishes. "I don't know how to keep you together" 

"I refuse to take her to Birmingham" Isaiah stated, and I had to agree. The life we led in our hometown would, sooner or later, subject Maria to things neither of us could put her through. Maria would surely protest against it, say she was more than willing to risk her life to be able to be by Isaiah's side. She would mean it too, which would make it so much harder. 

"I don't want to sound bratty, but I don't want to go back to the letters" Maria chimed in, intertwining her fingers, a look of determination clearly visible on her features. I admired Maria more than ever at that moment, when she was standing proud, voicing her wishes, voicing her determination. "I want to live a good life, and even knowing I can be happy on my own, I want you by my side" she added, looking straight to Isaiah, although he was full aware that she was speaking to him, and only to him. 

"That's what I want to. But I will not put you in any sort of danger" Isaiah affirmed, standing up suddenly, and walking in a full circle before stopping, and covering his face with his hands. I don't think he was crying, he was simply exhausted and at his wit's end. For some strange reason, his movement was the trigger for my realization that there was someone in that very same house who'd been in this exact same situation, and who had made her choice. 

"I'll be right back" 

Luckily, I found Ada sitting in the backyard, with a book on her lap. In front of her, and almost by miracle, Georgia was sitting right in front of her, holding some sort of fabric material, and sewing it carefully. If anything, this was the perfect painting of family happiness and harmony, and the exact vision I wanted for Maria and Isaiah. Just as fortunate was that the both of them looked up at me the moment I stepped foot outside, and neither of them seemed too cross at the sight of me. 

"Would you mind coming with me?" I asked right away, without wanting to scare them into thinking there was an emergency. 

"Sure. Both of us?" Ada asked in return, putting her book to the side, and getting up. I nodded, and only then did Georgia get up as well, putting down whatever she was working on with such diligence. "Should we worry?" my sister inquired, as I led her and her partner up the stairs, and into Maria's room. 

"No, I just need you to help them out with something" I stated, opening the door and allowing them both to sit down before I explained anything. "Alright, so before any of you think I've lost my mind, I thought it would be nice for you to talk about your options with Ada and Gigi" I informed Isaiah and Maria, whose faces shifted from confusion to understanding. I didn't look at Ada or Gigi, but I could almost sense them reacting in the same way my friends did. 

"I'm assuming this is the part where I encourage you to run as far as you can from my brother Tommy, Isaiah" Ada joked, although anyone who knew her well enough understood just how serious she was. "I did, and I couldn't be happier"

"Did you have a choice? What would have happened if you stayed in Birmingham? Or if you went back to living in London, but kept in touch with Tommy?" Isaiah asked, leaning forward, elbows on his thighs, listening as closely as he possibly could. 

"You already know Tommy wanted to kill Gigi. If I stayed in touch with him, wherever I was, I couldn't be with her. Sure, I would have to find ways to keep in touch with Arthur and Finn, would have to come up with some sort of scheme to communicate with them. But that was never in jeopardy, I knew I could. So, at the end of the day, it was simple: following the girl I love meant a better life for me, for my children, for Polly... not that difficult, really" Ada explained, remaining as composed as she could, despite leaning toward Gigi, whose face was the very definition of adoration. Instead of softening her features, it intensified them, and I was absolutely floored by how such a powerhouse of a human could love another person with that level of complexity. 

"You don't regret it, then" Maria concluded, breathing in deeply, and letting the air drain from her lungs completely before breathing in again. Her cheeks were slightly pink, which played beautifully with the caramel undertones of her complexion. "I'm not that close with my parents, and I don't think they would be upset if I moved away" 

"Would you consider staying here?" I wanted to know, particularly because I liked the city myself, and it would be a one stop shop for me when I wanted to visit the people I loved and wanted to protect and cherish. 

"From what I gathered, Tommy thinks I'm dead. He knew to find Maria here, but that was dealt with, right?" Gigi asked me, crossing her legs, one over the other, crossing her arms similarly. I nodded, and she did too, before continuing. "In all fairness, no one has to know this is where you are. Look at me, I'm a ghost everywhere but in Swansea,a nd I'm pretty happy. I could turn you into a ghost, if you want" 

_Fuck, I liked the devious little smile on her lips when she said that._

"But Isaiah's father..." Maria started, only to be stopped by Isaiah himself, who didn't let her finish. 

"My father could come, too. Finn convinced Tommy that the Swansea connection was a coincidence, which was genius" he interrupted, looking hopeful for the first time. "Do you want to stay here, Maria?" 

"I think it would be nice to have a support system, and I already have work here. I don't know, though. I don't want to risk anything, and for some reason I don't know how successful we would be in hiding our presence... and even if I'm not worried for myself, I worry that we could be the reason why Tommy gets to Ada and Gigi" Maria affirmed, although the little blush on her cheeks was still there. 

"My sister Esmeralda is in Inverness at the moment. She sent me a letter the other day, saying she likes it there, and that she's planning on staying for a month more. I could send you to her, get you settled there" Gigi offered, rolling up her sleeves, which seemed to arouse Ada's attention, who watched her do it as if she was watching a fascinating picture on television. 

"I'm game. I'm game, absolutely" Isaiah quickly agreed, looking at Gigi, and then at Maria, who seemed a bit more convinced. "What do you say?" 

"Yes. Yes, let's do it" Maria beamed, now that she had faith in the plan, now that she knew everyone would be safe. 

"Gigi, I don't know how to thank you enough for this" Isaiah pretty much gasped, getting up and taking Gigi's hands in his, the very picture of contrition and thankfulness. "I am forever in your debt" 

"Not a big deal. Esmeralda is nice enough, and she's got a battalion of young children; she'll appreciate the company" Gigi replied, seemingly used to doing this type of thing, without expecting anything in return. "Your dad is a preacher, right? Do you have any money?" 

"Honestly? Enough to get us a house" Isaiah said, and I knew he was being modest: working for Tommy could be life-threatening, but it sure paid well. Along with the bonuses Isaiah had gotten over the years... I'd say he could live pretty well in Inverness. 

"I have some savings, too" Maria added. "I've never been to Scotland, but I hear it's very beautiful"

"It is" Gigi agreed, smiling at the happy couple. Ada didn't speak, she hadn't said a word in a long time, and I could see why: her sole focus was Georgia, what she said, the solutions she was offering. Whoever reads these words already knows this, but I'll say it again: my sister was so in love with Gigi I don't think she could bring herself to breathe when the object of her affection was in her vicinity. "Great, it's settled then. Finn, will you deal with Tommy?" 

"Yes" 

"I'll make sure you're on a train to Edinburgh by the end of the week, and you'll get another to Inverness from there" Georgia informed, getting up from her chair, hands in her pockets, and as close to a sweet smile as she managed. "You're doing the right thing. And rest assured that you'll never be alone: we're here, whenever, for whatever you need"

"Thank you, so much. So, so much" Maria cried, the first one of us who let emotion take over from reason. To my surprise, Gigi walked up to her and hugged her as tightly as possible. 

"Go be happy, you hear me? I want you to find a good job, have a family, everything you want, alright?" Gigi whispered, dictating the end of my self-control and the beginning of a copious stream of tears. I understood I couldn't go along, and I knew this was the right decision; but it didn't relieve the pain of being left alone in Birmingham, not knowing what would happen next.


	26. Chapter 26

Ada knew how Georgia tasted when they kissed, and it was beautiful. No kidding, the woman tasted good, was warm, and a damn good kisser. This, however, was sometimes superseded by something else: maybe it was a word, maybe something she said, something she did. All in all, Gigi sometimes found ways of being so incredibly alluring Ada questioned whether she would be able to take a peaceful breath again. Yes, because these tidbits were pretty common, and close to each other in time. Those moments didn't even allow for a normal day with normal daytime activities, as it was impossible to keep washing dishes, reading books, or putting away baby clothes when there was an ungodly amount of white hot heat pooling in her stomach, and spilling to her... nether regions. Obviously, it was no way to live, to keep going with mundane tasks when one was blinded by the sort of lust that felt like a volcano about to erupt. 

Nothing compared to moments like that. And on top of Ada's preferences, was kindness. Why, you ask? How did kindness stand on top, over a biting of the lip, or a suggestive stretch of the limbs? The answer was in Georgia herself, in the way she carried herself: a strong, tough, powerful being, a Goddess among mortals, who could crush humankind under her riding boot. This meant she could be as violent and as demeaning as she wished. Instead, she spread her wealth, spread her influence, made sure she could help wherever and whenever she could. 

"You're really going to help those two go to Inverness" Ada half stated, half asked, when Gigi closed their bedroom door behind her. "You're gonna help them run away from Tommy Shelby" 

"Yup" Gigi threw, hands still in her pockets, toeing the corner of the rug. Without missing a beat, the girl marched (she always marched, which was emphasized by the heavy boots she wore all the time, God knows why). 

"Yup? That's your response? Do you have any idea of how insanely amazing that is? Do you even understand you might have saved two lives?" Ada exploded, her voice raised, her cheeks burning bright red. 

"Wasn't hard, really. I mean, how difficult can it be to get train tickets?" Gigi countered, kicking off her boots, and motioning to get rid of her shirt. "I can help them, so why wouldn't I?" 

"You say that as if it's nothing. I'm here to tell you that it's everything. For them, for Isaiah and Maria, but for me, too" Ada explained, sitting at the foot of the bed, taking off her shoes as well, and freeing her stockings from the constricting garter. This arose Gigi's attention, who followed the path of the nylon garments with her eyes, as if her life depended on it. 

"You planning on going with them?" Gigi joked, one eyebrow raised, the tip of her tongue poking out the corner of her mouth. "You're free to go, but let it be known I'll fight for you" 

"I'm not going anywhere" Ada clarified, despite knowing very well none of them had believed it. "I'm just saying that your kindness and your generosity make me fall in love with you more and more each day. And don't think I take it for granted, because I don't. You're extraordinary, and I never forget it" 

"Extraordinary is a strong word to describe a cattle farmer" Gigi laughed, balling up her cotton shirt, and aiming for the laundry basket. "I'm a traveler, love, I'm Romani. We do what we can for kin, eh? You know how it is: share what you can, do good if you can... that sort of thing" 

"Surely you could do all that without looking that good" Ada teased, admiring the contrast of the simple brassiere against the pale skin of her devoted partner. That woman was incapable of wearing anything remotely similar to a camisole, which only added to the sex appeal. Today's brassiere was navy blue, in the shape of a triangle, putting on display the central part of her ribcage. When the pants followed the shirt into the laundry basket, Ada was almost reaching unhealthy levels of blood pressure, and the vision of those strong thighs and muscular calves did not help one bit. 

"Ah well, that is entirely fabricated: I do it because I have an extraordinary woman of my own in my bed, and if I don't look half-decent, she might leave me for that nice bloke who is always talking about Marxist theory down at the pub" Gigi said, finally walking up to there Ada was sitting, and positioning herself between her legs, leaning down to kiss her wife, as sweetly and softly as she could. "I might be a lot of things, Ada Shelby, but know that I am yours, body and soul, now, and forever, until the day I die. And know that me getting those kids a new life is nothing compared to the lives you give the children of this city whose parents are gone, or the sex workers who have been wronged in every possible way. You are a million times braver and kinder than I could ever be, and you make me better just by existing" 

"I love you" 

"I love you, too. Now please... you need to get off these clothes, I can't stand being almost naked while you're all dressed up" Gigi concluded, although she had never been self-conscious in her life. 


	27. Inverness

The cool air outside stung every bit of my skin. In contrast with the heat of the house, it was enough to make me cry, and to make me want to return inside right away. I had to fight against it, though, to be able to appreciate that view, that paradise. The green was overwhelming, as was the sound of the running water. For once, there was no sign of rain, in spite of it being spring, and this being Scotland. Unlike most of England, Scotland was wild, vicious, and humankind struggled to exist there, having to go to battle with the mountains, the moss, the humidity. As an outsider, I could see that very same struggle all around me, especially in the figure of my best friend chopping wood, a mere two feet away from me. 

"Is it always this windy?" I ended up asking, bundled up inside my coat, with a scarf and gloves. 

"Always" Isaiah responded, wearing a cotton shirt and not even a sweater. "You get used to it pretty quickly, though" he further explained, as the sweat covered his back. I'd offered to help, but he'd declined, arguing that guests were forbidden to do any work. Truth be told, I knew I would do a terrible job at hacking wood, so I didn't insist much. From what I described, it should come as no surprise that firewood was a very precious commodity, especially now. 

"Did you?" 

"I did, actually. Overall, this place is easy to get used to" he informed, taking the wood he'd cut and gathering it on a tarp. Then, he made a bundle with it, and carried the whole thing to the shed, right next to the main house. I followed all along, anxious to know everything, to have as much information as I could, so I could imagine my friend's life when I read his letters. "We go to work, then we come back home, go to sleep, and do it all again the next day. I like the routine, and I like knowing that Maria will be here. There's nothing to harm us, there's no need to be scared... it's pretty easy to get used to that" 

"I imagine. So you don't miss Birmingham? The Blinders?" I asked, sadly knowing the answer, and knowing what mine would be. Especially now that Jeremiah had moved as well, I couldn't imagine Isaiah wanting to give this life up, wanting to go back to having his life threatened, to killing and maiming, following someone else's orders. And now that that someone was drifting further and further away from sanity, everything was a million times more difficult. 

"No, never. I mean, I can't see Tommy missing me... especially since the whole reason he let me move was the threat of being exposed" Isaiah chuckled, leading me back to the house, allowing the both of us the comfort of the fireplace, of the heavy wooden furniture, and of the scent of foreign spices coming from the kitchen. "Besides, Maria's food is way better than mine, eh dad?"

"Way better is still an understatement" Jeremiah responded from his armchair, behind the book of poems he was reading. "And I like this landscape more than I like the city" 

"I agree. You need any help, love?" Isaiah called out into the kitchen, where the delicious smell came from. "Shouldn't you sit down for a moment?" 

"I'm fine" Maria's voice assured. Nevertheless, Isaiah entered the kitchen and wrapped his arms around her. "I'm serious. Why don't you and Finn pop down to the pub or something?"

"I don't want to 'pop down to the pub', I want to force you to sit down for five minutes, I want to help you out, and I want..." 

"To talk my ears off and disturb my cooking" Maria completed, chuckling lightly. "Finn, can you please just convince him I'm fine?" 

"Something tells me that I won't be able to" I laughed along, busying myself by setting the table. To be honest, I didn't really feel uncomfortable with their display of affection, but I knew there were things I shouldn't intrude, and this was very much one of them. Anyways, they looked like a painting, something out of the workshop of one of the great artists of our generation: the tall man with arms around his gorgeous wife, the palms of his hands right on her stomach. 

"Are you sure you're alright?" I heard Isaiah ask, and Maria must have replied, because he didn't add anything. Instead, a silence fell over us, gluing me to the floor, overcome to by the sort of catharsis I'd never experienced before.

With Jeremiah reading, Isaiah cradling his pregnant wife in his arms, I knew that there was another way to life, away from Tommy's antics, away from the violence that had become our lives. With the blackmail hanging over his head my brother Tommy had backed off from Isaiah, and even off searching for Ada and Polly. As for me, I was now more into the family business than ever, with all that came with it: the women, the men, the fights, the corruption, the deaths... without a buffer between me and the heavy stuff, so to speak. But my family was safe, and my godson or goddaughter would grow up in the most peaceful place on earth. That was everything I ever wanted, and if I had to pay for it, so be it. 

In the meanwhile, I would take as many vacation days as I could, to run away from my reality, and into the alternative realms of those I loved. If you ask me if I'm happy, I'll have to say no. But then I find myself here, and maybe I would have to change my answer.

Deep down, how could I ever be miserable if I was able to make sure there was so much love in the world?


End file.
